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Translation by Johnne. A. Wille  Jr. from Iowa patois

The artistic man, who, blasé though he may be, has no occupation in life but to chase along the highway of happiness, the man nurtured in luxury, and habituated from early youth to being obeyed by others, the man, finally, who has no profession other than talent and elegance, is bound at all times to have a facial expression of a very special kind. The Court Painter embodies an ill-defined social attitude as strange as duelling; it goes back a long way, since Caesar, Catilina, Alcibiades provide us with brilliant examples of it; it is very widespread, since Chateaubriand found examples of it in the forests and on the lake-sides of the New World and now the backwaters of Inglewood Alberta. He is like an institution outside the laws of aesthetics, has a rigorous code of painterly laws that he is strictly bound by, however ardent and independent his exemplary individual character may be.

A being such as the Court Painter has no other status but that of cultivating the idea of beauty in his own person, of satisfying his passions, of feeling and thinking. Thus he possess’, to his hearts’ content, and to a vast degree, both time and money, without which fantasy, reduced to the state of ephemeral reverie, can scarcely be translated into action. It is unfortunately very true that, without leisure and money, portrait painting can be no more than an orgy to the common man and woman, or the accomplishment of a cultural duty. Instead of being a sudden impulse full of ardor and reverie, it becomes a distastefully utilitarian affair.

If I speak of celebrity in the context of the Court Painter, the reason is that celebrity is the natural occupation of men of artistic leisure. But the Court Painter does not consider celebrity as a special aim in life. If I have mentioned fame, the reason is that fame is indispensable to those who make an exclusive cult of their passions, but the Court Painter does not aspire to fame and wealth as objects in themselfs; an open bank credit could suit him just as well; he leaves that squalid passion to vulgar mortals.

Contrary to what a lot of thoughtless people seem to believe, the Court Painter takes not even an excessive delight in clothes and material elegance. For he,the perfect art celebrity, these things are no more than the symbol of the aristocratic superiority of his artistic mind. Thus, in his eyes, enamoured as he is above all of distinction, perfection in dress and painting execution consists in absolute simplicity, which is, indeed, the best way of being distinguished. What then can this passion be, which has crystallized into a doctrine, and has formed a number of outstanding devotees, this unwritten code that has moulded so proud a celebrityhood? It is, above all, the burning desire to create a personal form of originality, within the external limits of social conventions and commission fees. It is a kind of cult of the ego which can still survive the pursuit of that form of happiness to be found only in his own artistic enterprise for example; which can even survive what are called illusions. It is the pleasure of causing surprise in others when they get the bill, and the proud satisfaction of never showing oneself beyond the truth on the canvas. Court Painter may be blasé, he may even suffer pain, but in the latter case he will keep smiling, like the Spartan under the bite of the fox.

The specific beauty of the Court Painter consists particularly in that cold exterior resulting from the unshakable determination to remain unmoved by the avant guarde; one is reminded of a latent fire, whose existence is merely suspected, and which, if it wanted to, but it does not, could burst forth in all its brightness. All this is expressed to perfection in the Court Painter ,the Great Dominion’s prolific portraitist of pompous political personages that populate the playgrounds of paucity and …. stuff like that!
Editors Note:Reprints are not available so commit to memory.


WHY BUYING A COURT PAINTER REPRODUCTION HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER
At the very least, nobody can accuse the Great Dominion’s Court Painter of trying to conceal what he’s selling once you get by the sign outside his Inglewood studio featuring a menacing carved self portrait figure—with a warning sign.”Spitting on Artworks Prohibited”

 

Duly noted!

At the studio entrance a more thoughtful sentiment greets the visitor.

“Living Life without Art is like a Dog without a Bone ,” the slogan reads.

Walk through the door, and any lingering doubt about what’s for sale goes up in smoke.

Much like a jewellery store, a glass display case features a wide selection of reproductions of Court Painter with some sealed in various size plastic baggies. A barn-board feature wall is hung with the larger more expensive collectables.A black chalkboard lists every portrait variety, from “Organic Court Painter” to “ Court Painter Rush” to “Sunny Court Painter” to “Nirvana Court Painter”.

One of the latest additions on the menu, “Presumptive Court Painter,” comes highly recommended. “I just hung that one last night,” one unpaid studio intern, standing behind the display case, tells a customer. “I really thought it rocked and we recommend an orange frame.”

Edible self portraits of gingerbread Court Painters are also in stock and even lists the calorie count (121).

At first glance, there is nothing unique about this particular painting studio except for the smokey haze that hangs permanently in the air.

Says Court Painter: “I think the time has come for me to say it is perfectly fine to sell reproductions especially edibles and we’re going to sell to any adult that walks in our doors. You know what? Kids and art students with allowances are welcome also.”

For now, profit is the thing on Court Painter’s mind. He is focused on his expansion plans, including a deal under negotiations with Tim Hortons franchisees in the Greater Calgary Area. “I think it’s in the public’s best interest for the portrait dispensaries to be the business model that the socialist government and the disunited right opposition rolls with,” he says. “At the end of the day, though, I’ve come to accept the fact that: ‘Who knows?’ I could end up getting put out of business by jealous low life portrait painters stuck in a 20th century business model and packin’ fire bombs, or it could go in my favour and I’m destined to become a member of the middle class.”

COURT PAINTER SETS GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR CIGARETTE BUTTS SELF PORTRAIT.

MORE THAN 20,000, SOME STILL SMOULDERING CIGARETTE BUTTS WENT INTO DEPICTING A SELF PORTRAIT OF COURT PAINTER AND SETTING A NEW WORLD RECORD IN THE CITY SUNDAY.

Court Painter is now the Guinness record holder of the largest cigarette butt mosaic, according to A Hardon MacKay, Press Attache and marketing director with the Court Painter studios.

“It looks like a smouldering mess up-close but from a drone it really comes together,” he said. “It’s very stunning. It is a mosaic, so it really looks like a piece of art in spite of the subject.”

A Guinness judge from New York City came to inspect the 22,036 butts designed to resemble the giant face of the Great Dominions preeminent portraitist of the political elite as the city marked the final day of the 2016 Calgary Stampede.He said there was no doubt Court Painter had “kicked the butt of all the competition.”

“He confirmed that we had the right number of butts that we said we did, and then he held his nose and counted them and he double-checked everything, triple-checked everything, and then he had to look at it from the drone video and make sure that it was a good likeness as we said it would be, and then he awarded us,” Hardon said. “It was really exciting.”

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Court Painter who usually is quite modest about undertaking self portraits was on board with the idea “from Day 1,” said Hardon. The cigarette butts came from Court Painter’s private collection since he is a certified hoarder and had plenty on hand and as a special touch the mosaic was torched lightly to give the butts a second smouldering life.

The Court Painter didn’t work with a design firm to create the mosaic, which covered almost 500 square feet,”I am a real artist in the Arte Povera tradition not a commercial artist,” he exhorted!

Court Painter’s mosaic record breaks a title previously held by a large-scale mosaic made of a mixed media cigar butts and pigeon droppings in Venice.

“I just wanted to do something unique and really fun during Stampede, because it’s such an important time of year for me to undertake a new marketing thrust,” Court Painter gushed.

The mosaic, which took an hour to assemble, will be hosed down Monday. But A Hardon MacKay said photos and a Guinness World Records plaque will be on display on Court Painter’s Inglewood studio door to mark the title.