helpful advice…

How to properly stare at Court Painter’s artwork?

“When you look up at a Court Painter artwork, the head presses down on the spine”.

Press Attache A Hardon M, lecturing in the airless and disheveled Court Painter studio to out of work art students , shamelessly paraphrased the words of a Mr. Josefsberg posture specialist on art viewing…

“Put your index fingers in your ears and imagine a rod at that angle. That’s that point from which you want to look up and down lovingly at a Court Painter masterwork.”

“If you try that, you’re not doing anything with your torso or your neck,the head is nor pressing on the spine. You’re giving your spine a rest. Also if you have any negative comments on what you see… just give it a rest!”

And finally, AHM aided by Mr Josefsberg’s thesis, went on to argue that part of the reason why we experience back pain while looking at Court Painter’s art is that we simply forget about our lust fueled bodies while being absorbed in the visual stimulation around us.

“Try to be mindful of your sensuous body while sashaying around Court Painter’s studio,” AHM concluded. “Save some wacky brainpower to what you’re doing with your sinful body as you are looking at the artworks of one of the world’s most unhealded pushers of paint, pulchritude & pathos.”

The Court Painter studio visit is described as an immersive interactive experience because of the olfactory stimulation of raw terpentine, body odour and subtle notes of nicotine in addition to the tactile crunch underfoot of sawdust, ash, pastel dust and discarded KFC chicken bones.

Visitors who neglected to follow the posture viewing advice have by in large described the experience as a pain in the neck.

Visitors on the way out,are requested to not forget to leave any and all spare change in the empty Tim Horton cup Court Painter is gripping .

Ever the gracious host Court Painter expects just a few pieces of silver for his efforts.


Although all of this was in plain view, many art critics, even people of rank, spread a variety of stories. Different people had different views as to what possessed Court Painter. Some said it was a kind of frenzy. Others claimed he was possessed by a demon or maybe even worse, the Muse.

Let us accept that this infamy happened from a natural cause. This teaches us he has failed to repress the passions of the soul, and has become dominated by them, flirting with  irreparable harm to his natural constitution. It was said that Court Painter had been damaged in a certain lobe in a region of the brain by excessive imaginings, fantasies and anxieties.They say that there is the region in the brain, a very small, plump but slender lobe that nourishes the power of imagination and fantasy. Therefore when imaginations and fantasies abound in us, this little lobe becomes agitated, and if it is sufficiently stirred and frenzied, it ruptures, and the person falls into a delirium of artistic peripetectics and lunacy.

Court Painter fails to set a limit, then, in his fantasies and imaginations, his conjectures and other pointless and useless cogitations thus falling into so great and irremediable a peril as to claim to be in the spasms of perdition.

Meanwhile Court Painter on most good days continues to hob nob and gallivant around with unrestrained glee and occasional gravity, sporting a full palette while exercising his social climbing proclivities whomever and wherever the company …whatever the setting !

Fire drill…

Court Painter’s most precious works must be protected and every year he conducts a fire drill where the master works are covered with fireproof blankets…one never knows where the next anti art arsonist is lurking and rubbing two sticks together!

Private audience…

Court Painter was in Rome bearing gifts for Pope Francis. The Pope seemed to be curious about the subjects ,expressing pleasure that members of the clergy were in evidence and asked Court Painter to explain what the pictures symbolized with all those kids.

As they parted the Pope asked Court Painter to convey the message back to Canada that the pictures would be well taken care of and put to rest within the deepest recesses of the Vatican’s vault.

Chelsea, give Lord Black a dingle…

Controversial whistleblower Chelsea Manning fighting to be let into Canada

Canadian government is arguing she is inadmissible due to her prior convictions

Chelsea Manning, the former U.S. intelligence analyst who was convicted in one the largest breaches of classified information in American history, is fighting to be allowed into Canada.

The Canadian government is seeking to ban her from entering the country, arguing that she should be denied entry because of the serious criminality of her prior convictions on espionage charges in her home country.

Chelsea should really give Lord Black of Crossharbour a dingle seeing as he knows as a non Canadian felon how to enter the Great Dominion!

Conrad Black returns to Toronto after serving jail time in U.S.

Conrad Moffat Black, Lord Black of Crossharbour, arrived home in Toronto for the first time in nearly five years after being being released from a Florida prison early Friday morning.

As photographers and television cameras gathered around their front gate, Amiel and Black embraced and kissed as they walked around their property, enjoying one of Toronto’s first warm days of spring.

Lord Black, dressed in a dark suit, was enthusiastically greeted by his two pet dogs — pure white Hungarian Kuvaszok — inside his gated property after arriving home.

He is believed to have traveled to Toronto by private jet.

Lord Black is a British citizen, but he has been granted a one-year temporary resident permit by the Canadian Stephen Harper government, which is valid from May 2012 to May 2013.

In May 2019, Lord Black received a full pardon from US president Donald Trump. Black said that his long-time friendship and public support of the president including the book he wrote that praised Trump, had nothing to do with the pardon.

Lord Black of Crossharbour continues to submit his antiquated if not quaint views notably in the National Post on his issue of indigenous peoples not having invented the wheel and something something about racism.

really mad really really mad…

Court Painter seen challenging Pandora to find his name!

CLICK LINK for article

The offshore fortunes of prime ministers, royalty, billionaires, athletes and celebrities are being laid bare in a giant new leak of tax-haven financial records, even bigger than the Panama Papers, revealed today by a global consortium of media outlets.


It’s all well and good that the Pandora Papers spotlight is on the offshore fortunes of prime ministers, royalty, billionaires, athletes and celebrities avoiding taxes through offshore accounts however Court Painter is really mad really really mad that he wasn’t mentioned in the Pandora Papers expose!

“My sales have been bleak this quarter and I sure could have used some scandal to juice up my profile and notoriety.Thanks Pandora for zilch!”Court Painter filed a challenge to have Pandora shake the box and find his name!

Click link to see Barney’s friend expressing exactly what Court Painter feels at this moment!

Court Painter seen with painting depicting his challenge to Pandora to look harder!

National Day…

Two recent stories as many many more are needed for the future of truth and reconciliation to truly unfold!

After a year standing in-between the logging industry and some of the province’s last intact old-growth forest, the Fairy Creek blockaders are celebrating a victory. 

On Tuesday the Supreme Court of B.C. ruled the logging company Teal-Jones would not be allowed to extend its injunction, which expired at 4 p.m. 

Land defenders say there’s still a lot of work to be done before the province’s remaining 2.7 per cent of the most ecologically rich and productive old-growth forests is protected, but that the ruling could reduce RCMP violence on the frontlines.

Pacheedaht Elder Bill Jones, who has welcomed blockades on his territory since last August, said he’s “elated” by the news.

Cindy Blackstock, executive director of the First Nations Child and Family Caring Society of Canada, which is one of the parties fighting for Indigenous children to be compensated, said the judicial reviews Ottawa launched took direct aim at central calls to action from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada regarding child welfare and Jordan’s Principle. 

“This is the moment for Canadians, with the first National Day for Truth and Reconciliation tomorrow and knowing that these are some of the top calls to action, to get ahold of their elected officials and say, ‘put down your sword.'” 

“They have been fighting this case against First Nations kids to get equitable services and their families to get help to recover from the residential school trauma for now 14-and-a-half years … the Canadian people are now at a place where they want to see the TRC calls to action realized.

no more Mr. Nice Guy…

CLICK LINK for CBC News article

Former prime minister Stephen Harper heads the advisory committee of a Toronto-based company now looking to facilitate the sale of cutting-edge surveillance technology to the United Arab Emirates — a country with a troubling human rights record.

AWZ Ventures finances Israeli surveillance technology systems, including facial recognition and crowd detection systems and services that deliver comprehensive information on individuals in real time.

Court Painter hopped on his studio time machine and gathered together a number of images from the Harper Years that depict Mr. Harper’s affection for surveillance and his ongoing business ties to the Middle East.