House of Commons decorum shattered last evening as allegations of intimidation and drunkenness emerged . NDP, Conservative, and Green MPs raised allegations of antics in the opposition lobby that resulted in parliamentary pages being removed for ‘safety’ concerns.
Rumors in Ottawa suggest a political operative may have orchestrated the recent “Decorum Debacle” as a bold rebranding of Canada’s governance image. The incident coincides with global upheaval: France’s government collapse, South Korea’s martial law reversal, Notre Dame’s dramatic reopening, a U.S. manhunt and follows suspiciously the meat loaf dinner at Mar a Lago.
Critics question whether this was a distraction tactic or mere coincidence. Officials deny involvement, but the timing has sparked debate over Canada’s place in the global governance narrative.
Chatterley Grandiose Pretentious Thunderclap (ChatGPT), the resident studio scribe, drew inspiration from last evenings abandoned decorum in the Great Dominion’s House of Commons to craft a film script in record time.
Please note that the accompanying artful images by Court Painter are rendered in a style he describes as darkly “non-objective,” departing from his usual subjective approach. He has intentionally avoided the latter to steer clear of pictorial content brimming with a citizen’s anger, which could potentially spark a libelous dust-up with certain honorable members.
Title: A House Divided: Shadows of Decorum
Genre: Political Drama
Setting: Parliament Hill, a heated late-night session.
Scene 1: A Storm Brews
Fade in on the hallowed halls of the House of Commons. A tense late-night session unfolds as MPs debate a contentious tax holiday bill.
Narrator (V.O.):
“In the heart of Canada’s democracy, the rules of decorum were shattered. What began as debate turned into chaos, and the echoes of the night reverberated through the nation.”
Wide shot of MPs yelling across the chamber. Parliamentary pages hastily retreat from the opposition lobby, a mix of confusion and fear on their faces.
Scene 2: The Allegations
Cut to NDP House Leader Peter Julian addressing the House with palpable frustration.
Peter Julian:
“Parliamentary pages—dedicated young Canadians—removed for their safety? Because of intoxicated, disorderly conduct by some Conservative members? This is a disgrace to this institution!”
Gasps ripple through the chamber. Conservative MPs exchange tense glances. The Speaker adjusts his glasses, visibly uneasy.
Scene 3: The Opposition’s Counter
Cut to Conservative MP Michelle Rempel Garner standing, defiant.
Michelle Rempel Garner:
“Let the record show it was NDP members who displayed aggression—hands raised, voices sharp. My colleagues had to de-escalate the situation!”
Flashes of grainy footage show MPs in a heated verbal exchange, with Speaker Fergus and the Sergeant-at-Arms stepping in to separate them.
Scene 4: Behind the Curtain
The camera follows NDP MP Jenny Kwan leaving the chamber and heading into the dimly lit opposition lobby.
Jenny Kwan (V.O.):
“The air reeked of alcohol. Conservative MPs, emboldened by their antics, laughed and schemed. I overheard instructions to disrupt the proceedings deliberately.”
In the shadows, a staffer whispers into a Conservative MP’s ear, followed by nods and smirks. Kwan shakes her head, muttering under her breath.
Scene 5: Lines Drawn
Back in the chamber, Conservative House Leader Andrew Scheer stands with a veneer of calm but a sharp edge in his tone.
Andrew Scheer:
“We reject these defamatory accusations. Drinking? Intimidation? Baseless fabrications to distract from the NDP’s complicity with the Liberals.”
Elizabeth May rises slowly, her voice cutting through the tension like a knife.
Elizabeth May:
“I witnessed it. The drinking. The antics. These actions tarnish this House’s dignity.”
The chamber erupts into chaos, with voices shouting over each other. The Speaker’s gavel pounds furiously.
Scene 6: A Broken Night
Cut to the Speaker’s Office. Greg Fergus reviews security footage, his face grim.
Speaker of the House Greg Fergus (to himself):
“Unruly… disruptive… but was it intimidation?”
He sighs, setting the file down as the camera pans to the empty, dimly lit chamber, the echoes of the night’s events haunting the silence.
Scene 7: The Verdict Looms
The Speaker addresses the House, his voice carrying the weight of the institution.
Speaker of the House Greg Fergus:
“I will deliver my ruling on these allegations. But let us not forget—this House must be a sanctuary of democracy, not a theatre of disrespect.”
Close-up on MPs from all parties exchanging uneasy glances as the screen fades to black.
Title Card: “Based on True Events”
Credits Roll with Tense Orchestral Score
Tagline: In the crucible of democracy, the line between debate and disorder is thin.
