Month: March 2019

Crystal Ball Supplier Sued

Court Painter has undertaken a law suit against Crystal Ball Futures Inc.

Seems Court Painter was assured that the paintings  he created of future events with the aid of the Crystal Ball Futures product would hold up to any present tense scrutiny. Current events proved this is not the case and  Court Painter has been forced to dump on the market a series of images at a much reduced price over the premium commission fees he normally charges.

“We only undertook the use of the crystal ball to aid in building up inventory for what is predicted to be a huge rush at Christmas.” said Press Attache A Hardon MacKay in an emotional press briefing.

He went on to say that after this ill fated venture into the future, Court Painter would return to his traditional real time method of capturing the likeness and setting of his sitter in the ever present.

Court Painter is suing for the tarnishing of his brand, emotional strife and loss of one other thing to be determined at a future date!

The bargain basement priced series is being marketed as Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch and will hit the market before Easter.

Note: To rub salt in the wound,Crystal Ball Futures Inc. had insisted on a product placement in every painting.

Is there no shame!

Conservative MP Scott Reid accused the prime minister of sneaking a bagel under his House of Commons desk.

Rules state members “may refresh themselves with glasses of water during debate, but the consumption of any other beverage or food is not allowed.”

Reid, a longtime Tory MP, also called out the defence and heritage ministers for the same violation.The defence minister reportedly snuck in a  Canadian Armed Forces Individual Meal Pack (IMP) of his favourite smoked meat with mustard sauce and the heritage minister had  Arancini Meatballs and Stonewall Kitchen Pesto with Canada Geese, the natural mineral water from Nova Scotia a healthy and refreshing beverage with natural minerals. This gently sparkling water with a balanced and harmonious taste is perfect as a thirst-quencher or as a companion to food during filibusters and procedural wrangling.

SHAME!

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rose to admit to breaching the no-food rule, but said the item wasn’t a baked good. “It was a chocolate bar. I apologize,” he said.

A House of Commons Food police spokesperson speaking off the record, determined it might have been a Hershey’s Coffee Crisp ,a recipe explicitly created in 2013 for the discerning Canadian palate. Unlike their American counterparts, the bars are sweeter, smoother, higher in fat content, and have a creamier flavour profile designed specifically for Canadians.

SHAME!

Diverse hardworking middle class Canadians and wildlife held their heads in shame as another rule was broken by the Prince of Principle.

Alas,can the Conservative Party be any better since a veteran member of parliament can’t tell a bagel from a chocolate bar (or his arse from a hole in the ground). Editors note: That last part was added as partisan spice!

What is to become of the Great Dominion at this….the crossroads of our nation crossing the Rubicon and taking the irrevocable step that commits our nation to a specific course and stuff like that?  Editors note: not sure what this means but decided to leave it in anyway!

Tortoise not the Hare

“We are the tortoise, not the hare,” Green Party leader Elizabeth May says. “But people don’t often notice the tortoise until the tortoise is suddenly in the lead.”

Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence. Hal Borland

Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”
― Margaret Atwood,The Penelopiad

 

In Advance of the Darkness

Court Painter , casting aside his bout of painter’s block and bursting with enthusiasm, got out his colour box and went to town…Washington town that is …painting elite subjects hungry to be memorialized before the north light plunges into deep shadow and a pit of darkness!