Category: Images

Often Dismissed

“The portraiture of Court Painter is often dismissed as an art form mired in the past: deadly dull, deadly old-fashioned, just plan dead, its corpse still reeking mustily of the council chamber, the company boardroom and the smoke of cigars long since extinguished,” art critic Andrew Graham-Dixon supposedly  atmospherically extolled. The Court Painter’s studio itself, as he supposedly pointed out, is rooted in these musty Victorian memories. In 1856 when Prime Minister Lord Palmerston was explaining to the public why future Court Painter studios should exist, he stated: “there cannot be a greater incentive to mental exertion, to noble actions, to good conduct on the part of the living than for them to see before them the features of those who have done things which are worthy of our admiration.”

So there!

 For those unfamiliar with a recent refresh of all things worthy of admiration in the world of 21st Century portraiture:

After intense Market-research techniques encompassing both qualitative techniques such as focus groups, in-depth interviews, and ethnography, as well as quantitative techniques such as customer surveys, and analysis of secondary data; The Court Painter Studio enterprise follows an intense and vigorous practice-led research methodology that includes psychogeography  , a ‘pataphysical approach to gathering conjectural data and the application of research findings through lush and elegant portraits of figures from the political and entertainment world as well as an occasional one of a well turned out filthy rich person. The telos of this research is to foster a sensitive and intersectional dialogue around spatial production and psychological drama.

Credit cards and Bitcoins accepted.

Clean Your Studio: Bucko!

12 Rules For Court Painter: by Jordan Peterson | Conversation Stoppers

12 Rules For Court Painter: by Jordan Peterson | Conversation Stoppers

12 Rules for Court Painter is reportedly the latest self-help book from psychologist Jordan Peterson. 12 Rules for Court Painter was inspired by an urgent question from Court Painter’s Press Attache A Hardon MacKay. “What are the most valuable things Court Painter needs to know ?” Peterson answers this question from a unique perspective, mixing traditional snake oil with new revelations from scientific research. With his informative and knee slappin’ humorous style, Peterson explains why Court Painter should always stand upright with shoulders back, why it’s important Court Painter be petted when meeting, why he should be left alone when he is skateboarding and why he should butt out in the company of ladies. However rule # 1 is Clean Your Studio.Bucko! The other 11 are just filler for the book explained Peterson in a candid Youtube moment.

12 Rules for Court Painter is expected to become the #1 Most Read book on Amazon in 2019.  The New York Times’ writer, David Brooks, stated that though Peterson’s words may seem harsh, they are the perfect remedy to the way Court Painter especially as a young man, was raised in preparation for the embattled,embittered and embryonic art world. Kelefa Saneh, writing for The New Yorker, wrote that many of Peterson’s words of advice in 12 Rules for Court Painter will be unobjectionable even by his critics. Obviously he has not spoken to an enraged Court Painter who is quoted as saying enigmatically, “A Day without Art is like an Unruly Ruleless Dog Without a Bone on a Starry Starry Night.”

Go figure!

The Carrier of Turds

Court Painter has taken a few days off to recover from nausea experienced after this recent commission.He attributes it to overwork on the underpainting and lack of fresh air!

The Turd Carrier is shown in various settings where he is able to display his extraordinary ability to stink up a room…by offering steaming trade turds at every turn!