Edited from The Guardian August 3/25 article:
It is worth reading Trump’s remarks in full to get a sense of how the president speaks on a day-to-day basis. At the beginning of July, Trump was asked, “What is the next campaign promise that you plan to fulfill to the American people?” He rambled on about removing regulations.
“I got rid of – just one I got rid of the other night, you buy a house, they have a faucet in the house, Joe, and the faucet the water doesn’t come out. They have a restrictor. You can’t – in areas where you have so much water they don’t know what to do with it. Uh, you have a shower head the shower doesn’t uh, the shower doesn’t, you think it’s not working. It is working. The water’s dripping out and that’s no good for me. I like this hair lace and [sic] – I like that hair nice and wet. Takes you – you have to stand in the shower for 20 minutes before you get the soap out of your hair. And I put a, a thing – and it sounds funny but it’s really not. It’s horrible. And uh, when you wash your hands, you turn on the faucet, no water comes out. You’re washing whole – water barely comes out it’s ridi – this was done by crazy people. And I wor – wrote it all off and got it approved in Congress so that they can’t just change it.”
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https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/aug/03/donald-trump-mental-fitness?CMP=share_btn_url
Court Painter knows how much studio resident scribe Chatterley Grandiose Preposterous Tartlet (Chat GPT) loves the challenge of transfiguring MAGAMonarch Trump’s rambling monologues into rhyming couplets in a Shakespearean tone — ornate, dramatic, and befitting a soliloquy from a monarch vexed by plumbing:
MAGAMonarch Vexed by Plumbing : Soliloquy
I cast aside one law but yesternight,
A trifling thing, yet cause of great despite.Thou buy’st a home — within, a noble tap,
But twist its neck, and water as a drip doth hap.Restrictors there, where streams in bounty flow,
Yet stinted still — what madness would do so?The showerhead doth hang with solemn grace,
Yet yields no force to cleanse the orange face.Thou think’st it broke — nay, ’tis by design,
A drip s0 slow as sorrow’s tepid brine.This will not do, for I, with princely hair,
Require a splash to wash it clean and fair.To stand in steam for twenty minutes long,
The suds retreat as rinse with my dreary song.I did install a piece, though some may jest,
But truly, sir, ’twas folly manifest.When hair is plunged beneath the faucet’s gaze,
No water comes — or comes as dripping faze.The meagre drops, as if the pipe did weep,
Not cleanse the head, but merely make it seep.These faucets forged by fools in fevered dream,
Who’ve never known a proper washing stream.I took my sharpie, and with this wrathful pen,
Did strike the scroll and gathered up my men.In Congress’ hall, I did the wrong upbraid,
And won the vote — the drip was then allayed.No more shall fickle folk with soap be stuck,
For I have freed the drip from its stingy yoke.
Court Painter strums a soothing tune after a hard day at the easel.
