In a most dazzling and unprecedented proclamation, The Great Unifier Number 47 Donald J. Trump, Monarch of Monetization and Pope of Grift, did announce a bold and braincramp transformation of the American Republic. Henceforth, declared he, the vexing divide betwixt church and state—long enshrined in the ancient parchment known as the First Amendment—shall be cast aside like a worn-out meme, to the roaring approval of the Evangelical Magamonarchy rabble.
With majestic confidence and peerless flair, the President did proclaim that the United States shall descend into a new and resplendent age as the MAGA-Monarchy & Evangetical Restoration. He, alone fit for the dual mantle, shall reign as both the American Monarch and Evangelical Pope of the New Covenant, thus unifying throne and pulpit under one gilded grift.
This sacred coronation, a pageant of unparalleled splendor, shall proceed in due time—once the grand parade route and flyover is finalized, the media coverage contracts monitized, crypocrown coins minted and the royal souvenirs ordered and priced. For lo,Number 47 DJT prepares to don the regalia drag befitting his occupation of Kingdumb & Popedumb.
Court Painter has been commissioned to paint in advance the splendour of DJT’s threads in celebration of his new role and as a testament to his unifying disposition in the face of annoying constitutional amendments.