Plans for a 2024 Future, Court Painter Will Paint By Drone
Court Painter seen with type of drone he hopes to repurpose for his artistic ends.
Editor’s WARNING: This is a long one folks…skipping the text and simply admiring the images is encouraged. The images have been plucked from the archives as eye candy because one can’t expect time consuming long winded texts to be accompanied by new images, now can one?
Get ready for an exhilarating glimpse into the future of artistry in 2024, where Court Painter is set to redefine the avant-garde with a groundbreaking venture: painting by drone! In an unexpected twist in the age of robotic takeover, Court Painter, is orchestrating a spectacular move of brush/pigment based art to new heights that will elevate airborne portraiture beyond it’s traditional earth bound easel execution.
The brainchild of AHM and his main squeeze Missy Mayhem, self-proclaimed design and innovation gurus, “Court Painter Drones On” promises to revolutionize the art world as it has done with warfare. Forget about your run-of-the-mill drone-assisted graffiti; this project is the epitome of sophistication, taking drone art to unexplored realms.
At the heart of this visionary project is a cutting-edge “central-management system” that synchronizes fleets of quadcopters to paint with precision. Picture four unmanned aerial vehicles, each contributing a unique color in the CMYK scheme, working in unison to create breathtaking portraits. According to AHM, the number of drones can be multiplied to eight, 12, or more for larger-than-life portrait masterpieces executed in the Court Painter’s soon to be expanded hanger scale studio.
Court Painter, ever the pioneer, chimes in to further shed light on the technological marvel: “The central-management system is the game-changer, controlling drones in real-time with advanced monitoring for precise positioning during both flight and painting. This ensures we capture even the most intricate details, like the nuances of hands, hair ,hips ,highlights and toothy botox smiles, which are notoriously tricky to get just right.”
It is reported AHM’s interest in drone experimentation was sparked by an opium-fueled dream on Robbie Burns Day, leading him to envision a future where pigment loaded drones saturate the skies. With an estimated 1.3 million quadcopters predicted to fly over Calgary by 2024, a business opportunity was seized upon to breathe new life into Court Painter’s commissioning prospects in a struggling,competitive marketplace.
As AHM put it so succinctly, “The idea of employing drones in extending the monetization possibilities of Court Painter’s oeuvre is a solution born from my opium-assisted nocturnal phantasmagorias and not from auditing Preston Manning invisible hand seminars as the competition suggests.
While the subjects of the Court Painter Droning On initiative, the drone-painted masterpieces remain a mystery, however one thing is certain—they will feature politicians of all stripes and a few, that rumour has it, will be wearing fashionable broad penal stripes. The debut will showcase the quadcopters in Court Painter’s expansive hanger scale studio, applying their artistic flair on the finest linen canvas backdrops, but Court Painter dreams bigger, imagining future endeavours against the dramatic backdrop and substrate of the Blue Canadian Rockies or picturesque Peggy’s Cove on the seabound coast.
With the plug-and-play technology that can be deployed effortlessly on any vertical surface, the possibilities become truly mind-boggling. Just picture Court Painter’s portraits of politicians, oligarchs and up and comers also adorning highways, bridges, viaducts, unexplored caves, tailing ponds, and even the melting ice cap—an artistic cash cow unfolding before our eyes!
Court Painter left us with a statement in his characteristic drone tone: “We tirelessly and ceaselessly endeavour to consistently and unfailingly position ourselves as the very tip, the utmost tip, and the absolute epitome of the sword’s edge, diligently bringing forth our A game, our paramount A game, and our unparalleled A game to consistently and repeatedly achieve and attain the pinnacle, the zenith, and the very apex of the curve in the perpetually competitive and ongoing art world sales scrimmages and pugilistic art bar engagements.”