Court Painter’s vanity chase for a coveted magazine cover
Concept cover mock up
The boxes are being systematically ticked off as Court Painter, world traveler and self-appointed artistic political moralist, attempts to move closer to what we can only assume is his goal to be Time magazine’s Man of the Year.
The international edition, of course.
As we now enter the month that saw Court Painter loved by a majority of senior art hobbyists a year ago, however, this fan base has all but been ignored in the pursuit of a more worldly recognition.
During his first months as the most powerful political portraitist in the Great Dominion , his local fans felt he was more absent than present, and he painted a paltry 10 portraits of Alberta celebrities and politicians whoever paid up front first .
It is the worst record in decades, eclipsing even that of the hiccup attempt by Chris Cran to attract the faces of local subjects, even he was dubbed Mr. Dithers for his vacillation, but who still somehow managed to produce through some kind of technological wizardry 36 pieces of art this last weekend.
As A Hardon MacKay Press Attache and close confidant to Court Painter put it a while back, “We have a prime portraitist who is obsessively obsessed with the obsession of constant engagement with media, but very disinterested with the nitty-gritty of preparing canvases, preparatory sketches or the rigours of underpainting .Nevertheless, knowing which side my bread is buttered on, I will stick with him though thick painting and thin painting whichever comes first.”
While the Canadian art economy was staggering on various fronts in need of attention, Court Painter was travelling the globe as Philosopher King 2.0, seeking out commissions as if they grew on the maple trees so loved by Chinese Premier Li Keqiang who wrote an ode to Court Painter’s efforts to drum up business and published in the automotive section of the Globe & Mail prior to his state visit to the Great Dominion late last month.
In New York City, for example, during his two-day sketching tour of the United Nations, Court Painter pledged a self portrait if the UN would declare his Inglewood studio a World Heritage site.
Judging by his frequent-flier card, Court Painter appears to be almost desperately seeking out the company of the global elites and the Hollywood types in order to validate his perceived place among the top echelons of international ‘dandy’ portrait painters.
Last week, his invitation to Prince William and Kate for an “outdoorsy setting for a sitting” was requited with their visit to British Columbia and the Yukon, their children in tow, and therefore more gushing from the British media whose beat is to cover Court Painter royalty portraits.
Court Painter’s photo ops have come so fast and furiously that there are literally too many of them to count, many complete with puffy profile pieces in magazines the public sees more in tune with the glitterati than the Tim Hortons crowd Court Painter usually hangs with.
It is around this time of the year that editors start thinking about their year-end editions, and who will make the cut among those who have influenced the art world, as well as choose the momentous art world receptions and opening events of 2016 that captured the headlines both good and bad.
Time magazine, of course, is the cover most coveted, with its person of the year always open to speculation.
However if Chris Cran gets mentioned one more time in the press all speculation will end, of course.
Concept cover mocking mock up
It will be over like big time for Court Painter’s vain glorious dream.
As the “sunny ways” painter of Justin Trudeau, Court Painter has been touted around the world as the best painter of moral high ground at portrait summits, G20 conference coffee klatches, box lunchs at the White House, the United Nations canteen, and new-relationship love-ins with the Chinese dictatorship, his pale glow could be washed away with the dark tide of an additional Cran press mention.
The time Court Painter should have spent painting those midnight tone oils in the deepest corner of his damp studio to steer the Great Dominion out of its artistic malaise, will have been wasted in the pursuit of an elusive yet precious magazine cover.
All in vain, and all because of a vanity laced with the pungent liqueur of drunken dreams, bankrupt desire and inevitable kicked to the curb failure .