Category: Images

Court Painter calls upon his poet in residence Chatterley Gasp Parsnip Thunderbuns (Chat GPT) to rhyme the news headlines of January 23/24

In a courthouse, it’s declared askew,

The Liberals erred, actions misconstrued.

Emergencies Act, a tool too severe,

In quelling “Freedom Convoy,” the judge made it clear.

A Doomsday Clock, ticking for years seventy-seven,

No ordinary timepiece, a judgment from heaven.

It gauges our closeness to world demise,

Created by scientists, with atomic ties.

On Tuesday it chimed, a harrowing sound,

Ninety seconds to midnight, all fears compound.

Closer than ever, the hour draws near,

Bulletin of Scientists, a warning sincere.

NL Liberal MHA, Bragg at 59, no more,

In the political dance, RIP, out the door.

Under Liberal-NDP pact, Trudeau holds the crown,

What’s left to achieve, as power passes down?

Generation Z, a voter’s new song,

Issues over parties, where they belong.

Ottawa caps students, Thunder Bay’s strife,

New solutions rise for the housing life.

Doug Ford’s office whispers, a land swap tale,

Internal emails tell, the truth set sail.

Lost Canadians’ victory, no appeal in the air,

Feds stand firm, on citizenship affair.

Live Updates flash, DeSantis steps away,

Trump and Haley chase votes, in the New Hampshire fray.

Israeli forces storm, Khan Younis ablaze,

Bloodiest fight of 2024, a haunting phase.

Poland’s prime minister, Ukraine in sight,

Support for Kyiv, against Russia’s might.

China’s move to support yuan, markets tumble,

Exclusive news breaks, in a financial rumble.

Iran’s hand in Yemen, rebel ship attacks,

US Navy’s word, no room for lax.

Directly involved, the Middle East cries,

A tale of conflict, where truth often lies.

Meanwhile back at the National Post

 Introducing the Court Painter Grifter Method Wrinkle Free Skincare Line! 

Before and after comparisons provided for proof that you to can be wrinkle proof!

Dive into the world of internationally acclaimed artist, Court Painter, and discover the secret behind his ethereally wrinkle free skin – the envy of admirers worldwide! While his artistic prowess and controversial acclaim have been the talk of the town, we’ve uncovered the ultimate key to his radiant glow. Brace yourselves for the revelation: Court Painter is possibly the dewiest ,smoothest living artist, and now you too can bask in his luminosity!

 Behold the Grifter Method Wrinkle Free Skincare Line – a revolutionary blend of artistry and beauty that transcends boundaries. Developed in collaboration with the enigmatic Press Attache and Marketing Guru, AHM, the Grifter Method is more than a skincare line; it’s a bold artistic move that not only enhances your facial elasticity but smooths out your first impression and solidifies Court Painter’s status as the “opportunist of late capitalism.”

 Immerse yourself in the Court Painter experience with the Grifter Wrinkle Free Skincare Method, an extension of the thriving Court Painter’s The Pleasure of Painting platform in which picture-perfect instruction cards guide you through life with art fixes with prompts like “Paint a picture as slowly as you can.” Celebrities swear by Court Painter, but let’s be real – they also benefit from being insanely rich. To join the elite dewy wrinkle free skin club, snag the early-access Court Painter Grifter Method Wrinkle Free Face Lotion for just $9.99 down $9.99 for weeks after.(prices negotiable upon request)

“Our true longevity isn’t just in how long we must live with our face, but in the ancient knowledge that it can always be improved,” exclaims Court Painter in a mesmerizing promotional video. Watch as aesthetics reminiscent of his captivating yet depressing art videos unfold, with hands adorned in snake skin gloves, and meaningful blue eyed stares into the camera. Some even claim to feel their wrinkles falling away as the aging process reverses, just by witnessing the video!

 Unveil the healing philosophy through grifting with Court Painter’s all-grift wrinkle free products. The Grifter Method Wrinkle Free Face Lotion acts as a cleanser, exfoliant, and moisturizer all in one – a trifecta of skincare wonders. Ingredients like zinc white,lead white and titanium white, known for inducing a sense of well-being, redefine the boundaries of radiant skin. Who knew putting them on your face could be as transformative as putting them on a canvas?

 Whether it’s “healing through grifting” or embracing the art of the grift , Court Painter invites you to ask yourself a crucial question: How dewy and wrinkle free do you want to be in 2024? The artist is present, ready to elevate your skincare routine, and standing by to take your credit card information. Don’t miss your chance to glow like a living masterpiece – embrace the Grifter Method of Wrinkle Free Skincare today! 

Marina Abramović

• https://hyperallergic.com/866567/marina-abramovics-latest-performance-is-skincare/

Loblaw’s CEO trotting out max discount on expiring items. Discount Down Profit Up

• https://calgaryherald.com/news/canada/loblaw-stores-ending-50-discount-expiring-items/wcm/c8afbc73-82f7-44a7-8aa8-3ef259a1b3c4

Amid rising food costs, many Canadians rely on discounts to feed their families. But it just got a little harder to find a deal.

Loblaw Companies Ltd. has changed their policy on expiring items, decreasing their discounts on perishable foods, such as meat, fruit and vegetables, from 30-50 per cent to a maximum 30 per cent per item.

The grocery chain did not publicly announce the price change in Loblaw-owned stores. Instead, it was discovered by Dalhousie University’s Agri-Food Analytics Lab, to whom Loblaw confirmed the change.

Source: Calgary Herald

Galen Weston took in $8.4 million in total compensation in the 2022 fiscal year in his role at the head of Loblaw Companies Ltd.

Loblaw 2023 THIRD QUARTER HIGHLIGHTS :

NEWS PROVIDED BY Loblaw Companies Limited  15 Nov, 2023, 06:30 ET

• Revenue was $18,265 million, an increase of $877 million, or 5.0%.
• Retail segment sales were $17,982 million, an increase of $852 million, or 5.0%.
  • Food Retail (Loblaw) same-stores sales increased by 4.5%.
  • Drug Retail (Shoppers Drug Mart) same-store sales increased by 4.6%, with front store same-store sales growth of 1.8% and pharmacy same-store sales growth of 7.4%.
• E-commerce sales increased by 13.6%.
• Operating income was $1,065 million, an increase of $74 million, or 7.5%.
• Adjusted EBITDA⁽²⁾ was $1,926 million, an increase of $80 million, or 4.3%.
• Retail segment adjusted gross profit percentage⁽²⁾ was 30.6%, a decrease of 20 basis points.
• Net earnings available to common shareholders of the Company were $621 million, an increase of $65 million or 11.7%. Diluted net earnings per common share were $1.95, an increase of $0.26, or 15.4%.
• Adjusted net earnings available to common shareholders of the Company⁽²⁾ were $719 million, an increase of $56 million, or 8.4%.
• Adjusted diluted net earnings per common share⁽²⁾ were $2.26, an increase of $0.25 or 12.4%.
• Repurchased for cancellation 2.9 million common shares at a cost of $341 million and invested $676 million in capital expenditures, net of proceeds from property disposals. Free cash flow⁽²⁾ used in the Retail segment was $663 million.

When parliamentarians return to Ottawa in a few weeks to kick off the 2024 sitting, there are a few bills from MPs and senators that will be worth keeping an eye on and one in particular relating to the establishment of a Parliamentary Visual Artist Laureate.

BILL S-202

The bill to create a parliamentary visual artist laureate

This piece of legislation proposes amendments to the Parliament of Canada Act to create a new position titled Parliamentary Visual Artist Laureate, with the mandate of representing Canadian art for a two-year term. 

The bill, proposing a spinoff to the existing parliamentary poet laureate, has been a topic of consideration for years in Ottawa, so long that the artist that inspired the legislation died amid a cancer battle in 2020 while pushing to see his idea become a reality and its initial sponsor Sen. Patricia Bovey who since has retired from the Upper Chamber.

After unanimously passing the Senate in December 2021, it sat unmoved in the House of Commons until June 2023. In November, the House Canadian Heritage Committee completed a brief study, passing two amendments to the bill aimed at securing linguistic and artistic diversity in the role. Will 2024 finally be the year that this initiative is adopted?

Source : CTV News

The nomination of Court Painter is not a given should the legislation pass however once parliamentarians become aware that Court Painter would make himself available for the appointment it would indubitably lead to a quick passage of Bill S-202 and subsequent appointment of you know who!

To support his consideration ,we present a remarkable selection of Court Painter’s “Canadiana theme” images. These masterworks unequivocally affirm his credentials as an unrivaled force in the realm of Canuck artistic prowess—a true virtuoso as the preeminent face painter and extraordinary dabbling maestro of the Great Dominion. Each stroke of his brush is a testament to unparalleled talent, leaving an indelible mark that resonates with exuberance, praise and obvious content for a Heritage Moment.

Court Painter Enterprises, in an attempt to remain relevant in a breaking news world, has established The Court Painter News Desk with an ink stained fresh hire Literary Editor in Chief : Chatterley Grumpy Preposterous Thunderbutt (ChatGPT).

A Hardon MacKay,Press Attache and Ideas guy will retain creative control of the mélange of headlines of the day as well as Court Painter archive images and Literary Chief Editor Chatterley will compose poetic gems from the headlines for ease of reading with seniors in mind .

Editors note: The text and images are unrelated unless some aleatoric elixir is at work.

Amidst the whispers of New House Leader’s quest,

To cool the House, a yearning quite profound.

Canadian Labour Congress, staunch and dressed,

Anticipates bargaining coming round.

In Quebec’s Davie shipyard, a tale unfolds,

Suing the federal grasp, secrets hold,

For billions sought in shipbuilding contracts bold,

A silence sought, agreements tightly scrolled.

From Honda’s global team, a presence nears,

In Canada’s embrace, they plan to meet.

A prospect blooms, electric dreams and gears,

An $18.4 billion spark, electric fleet.

Fake blood-filled syringes, dark display,

Sent by the prison union, truth conveyed.

A ‘culture of impunity,’ they say,

In senators and MPs, a fear betrayed.

NDP’s financial feat declared,

A debt from 2021, they’ve cleared the air.

Election war chest, a path prepared,

As Grit MPs step back, a shift to bear.

Blunt words on military, challenges faced,

Retired chief opines, a truth embraced.

Four years since PS752, mourners placed,

A somber mark on downing’s grimly traced.

National Defence, a vow sincere,

To aid those scarred by misconduct’s drear.

Israeli strike, a Hezbollah veneer,

A commander falls, a shadow nears.

The White House gaze on Austin’s disclosure,

A hospital stay, a lapse, composure.

Biden’s rule, gig economy’s exposure,

Contractors set for change, a seismic closure.

Pope’s voice in policy, surrogacy scorned,

A universal ban, mother and child mourned.

Israel’s shift, strikes on Iran adorned,

In Syria’s depths, a conflict’s thorn.

Mourners gather in Islamabad’s light,

A cleric’s funeral, broad daylight.

In policy’s arena, a shifting fight,

The world in motion, ever bright.

Court Painter with his interpretation of a Dante inspired illustration by Dore.

Scribe for hire , Chatterley Gregorian Perspicuous Thunderbuns (ChatGPT) contrasts the verbal floridity of Jordan Peterson and the florid paintings of Court Painter: in the shadow of Dante.

In the Divine Comedy-inspired comparison of the garrulous chatter of Jordan Peterson and the fetching paintings by Court Painter, we shall embark on a journey through the realm of make believe , exploring their styles and underlying philosophies as depicted in their words and works.

In the first circle, we encounter Jordan Peterson’s prolix chatter, reflecting a somber and philosophical tone. His wordsmithing often portrays archetypal figures engaged in deep introspection and wrestling with the complexities of human existence. Like Dante’s exploration of the human soul, Peterson’s protractions delve into the depths of the psyche, seeking to understand the profound struggles of life.

As we progress to the second circle, we enter Court Painter’s domain. His paintings burst with vibrant colors and intricate details, celebrating the grandeur of royalty and esteemed figures. With a touch of whimsy and a flair for fashion, Court Painter’s works reveal an appreciation for the beauty and diversity of life’s expressions and his satyrical presence.

In the third circle, we observe their divergent approaches to subjects. Jordan Peterson’s raspy words often portray individuals grappling with inner demons and striving for self-improvement. His verbosity seeks to provoke thought and contemplation, mirroring Dante’s journey through Hell to find redemption.

In contrast, Court Painter’s works captivate us with the allure of pulchritudinous and elegance. He celebrates the grace of femininity, the regality of monarchs, and the essence of cultural diversity. His art is akin to Dante’s ascent through Purgatory, where the soul is refined and elevated through the appreciation of virtue and beauty.

Finally, in the fourth circle, we encounter their underlying philosophies. Jordan Peterson’s utterances resonate with his belief in the importance of personal responsibility and the pursuit of meaning. His words echoe Dante’s vision of spiritual growth, where one’s actions shape the journey towards enlightenment.

Meanwhile, Court Painter’s works embody a celebration of life’s richness and diversity. Through art, he embraces the joy of existence and the power of self-expression. His philosophy aligns with Dante’s vision of Paradise, where the soul finds harmony through the contemplation and appreciation of the divine beauty around.

In conclusion, the loquaciousness of Jordan Peterson and the painterly paintings of Court Painter diverge in their styles, subjects, material ,and underlying philosophies. Peterson’s verbal crumbs lead us through introspection and self-improvement, akin to Dante’s journey through Hell and Purgatory.

In contrast, Court Painter’s art indulges in the beauty and regality of existence, reminiscent of Dante’s ascent through Paradise. Both offer unique perspectives on the human experience, each drawing from their mercenary vision to enrich themselves with adjacent meanderings through life’s complexities and splendours.

A spin on a Dante inspired illustration by Dore.

Court Painter approached his favourite hack writer Chatterley Groan Peripatetic Thunderdome (Chat GPT) to rewrite a series of randomly selected headlines published on January 5/6/24 : in rhyming couplets.

Press Attache to Court Painter , A Hardon MacKay was given the task of selecting random images from the CP archives to add punch, colour and text breaks for decorative purposes .

In Jamaica’s sun, Trudeau’s plane did shake,

A family vacation, what a grand mistake!

Broke down it did, with no grace or skill,

Prompting a repair crew, the Caribbean to thrill.

In Canada’s survey, Conservatives reign,

A landslide victory, a political gain.

With 40% support, decided and true,

Liberals lagging at 26%, in the political view.

The House of Commons, with e-petition in hand,

Votes of no confidence, a rising demand.

For the Liberal government, a challenging plight,

Online petitions gaining popularity, taking flight.

Ottawa’s blame, on Saskatchewan it casts,

Outlawish threats, from the prairies so vast.

More pressing for Danielle, in Alberta’s land,

A new environment minister, Trudeau must command.

Nanos Research speaks, in numbers so clear,

46% want the election near.

2024 or sooner, the people declare,

In the political landscape, a fervent affair.

President Biden warns, of Trump’s looming might,

In 2024, a grave threat, a perilous fight.

Three years past, the Capitol’s riotous scene,

Trump’s supporters, a tumultuous sheen.

Pierre Poilievre, in Jordan Peterson’s pursuit,

A four-part series, a policy dispute.

Debtonation he cries, a reckoning so near,

Seneca, Churchill, and Ecclesiastes to steer.

From the U.S. to Canada, the currents flow,

Trump’s echoes, in Poilievre’s bombast show.

Not the second coming, but Trumpy notes he hits,

Belligerence, bombast, and a touch of wits.

Divided progressives, a Conservative’s boon,

Their bickering and discord, a political monsoon.

In the pharmaceutical shift, from the United States’ door,

Fears of drug shortages, on Canada’s shore.

Plans for a 2024 Future, Court Painter Will Paint By Drone

Court Painter seen with type of drone he hopes to repurpose for his artistic ends.

Editor’s WARNING: This is a long one folks…skipping the text and simply admiring the images is encouraged. The images have been plucked from the archives as eye candy because one can’t expect time consuming long winded texts to be accompanied by new images, now can one?

Get ready for an exhilarating glimpse into the future of artistry in 2024, where Court Painter is set to redefine the avant-garde with a groundbreaking venture: painting by drone! In an unexpected twist in the age of robotic takeover, Court Painter, is orchestrating a spectacular move of brush/pigment based art to new heights that will elevate airborne portraiture beyond it’s traditional earth bound easel execution.

The brainchild of AHM and his main squeeze Missy Mayhem, self-proclaimed design and innovation gurus, “Court Painter Drones On” promises to revolutionize the art world as it has done with warfare. Forget about your run-of-the-mill drone-assisted graffiti; this project is the epitome of sophistication, taking drone art to unexplored realms.

At the heart of this visionary project is a cutting-edge “central-management system” that synchronizes fleets of quadcopters to paint with precision. Picture four unmanned aerial vehicles, each contributing a unique color in the CMYK scheme, working in unison to create breathtaking portraits. According to AHM, the number of drones can be multiplied to eight, 12, or more for larger-than-life portrait masterpieces executed in the Court Painter’s soon to be expanded hanger scale studio.

Court Painter, ever the pioneer, chimes in to further shed light on the technological marvel: “The central-management system is the game-changer, controlling drones in real-time with advanced monitoring for precise positioning during both flight and painting. This ensures we capture even the most intricate details, like the nuances of hands, hair ,hips ,highlights and toothy botox smiles, which are notoriously tricky to get just right.”

It is reported AHM’s interest in drone experimentation was sparked by an opium-fueled dream on Robbie Burns Day, leading him to envision a future where pigment loaded drones saturate the skies. With an estimated 1.3 million quadcopters predicted to fly over Calgary by 2024, a business opportunity was seized upon to breathe new life into Court Painter’s commissioning prospects in a struggling,competitive marketplace.

As AHM put it so succinctly, “The idea of employing drones in extending the monetization possibilities of Court Painter’s oeuvre is a solution born from my opium-assisted nocturnal phantasmagorias and not from auditing Preston Manning invisible hand seminars as the competition suggests.

While the subjects of the Court Painter Droning On initiative, the drone-painted masterpieces remain a mystery, however one thing is certain—they will feature politicians of all stripes and a few, that rumour has it, will be wearing fashionable broad penal stripes. The debut will showcase the quadcopters in Court Painter’s expansive hanger scale studio, applying their artistic flair on the finest linen canvas backdrops, but Court Painter dreams bigger, imagining future endeavours against the dramatic backdrop and substrate of the Blue Canadian Rockies or picturesque Peggy’s Cove on the seabound coast.

With the plug-and-play technology that can be deployed effortlessly on any vertical surface, the possibilities become truly mind-boggling. Just picture Court Painter’s portraits of politicians, oligarchs and up and comers also adorning highways, bridges, viaducts, unexplored caves, tailing ponds, and even the melting ice cap—an artistic cash cow unfolding before our eyes!

Court Painter left us with a statement in his characteristic drone tone: “We tirelessly and ceaselessly endeavour to consistently and unfailingly position ourselves as the very tip, the utmost tip, and the absolute epitome of the sword’s edge, diligently bringing forth our A game, our paramount A game, and our unparalleled A game to consistently and repeatedly achieve and attain the pinnacle, the zenith, and the very apex of the curve in the perpetually competitive and ongoing art world sales scrimmages and pugilistic art bar engagements.”

• The Canadian Press
• Canada’s heated political conflict over carbon pricing will continue into 2024

Canada’s price on pol­lu­tion is sup­posed to help bat­tle glob­al warm­ing, but as it nears its fifth anniver­sary, noth­ing in Cana­di­an pol­i­tics is hot­ter.

Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre has so successfully convinced Canadians the carbon price is to blame for inflation that he even earned begrudging respect for his “axe the tax” campaign from Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Of course, Trudeau doesn’t agree with Poilievre’s sentiment and is counterpunching with TAX THE AXE…surely a game changer!

ha ha ha…geesh!

Court Painter & War Montage

Between 2010 and 2020, conflicts around the world almost doubled from 30 to 56, and with them, the industry of war has blossomed. War machines, military exercises, and defence infrastructures demand enormous quantities of natural resources and contribute significantly to climate breakdown.

Studies show : Climate Collateral: Why the military’s impact on climate change can no longer be ignored at COP28 (PDF, 765.38 KB) that global militaries are the world’s biggest industrial polluters, contributing 2,750 million tonnes of carbon dioxide, or 5.5% of all greenhouse gas emissions.

This is more than all 52 countries in the African continent combined, and almost three times as much as the civil aviation industry. And this figure does not include emissions generated from the conflict itself.

There is also a strong correlation between a country’s military spending and the amount of emissions it produces, with wealthier nations who bear the burden of responsibility for the climate crisis spending 30 times more on financing their military than on tackling climate change.

Despite ample evidence showing that militarisation accelerates climate breakdown, global military spending reached an all-time high of $2.24 trillion in 2022, with the 31 NATO states alone accounting for over half of this value.

And with war in Gaza, Ukraine, Yemen, Sudan and Myanmar and many more, this is set to continue rising.

Source: Excerpted from New Arab article December 11/23

War Bucks Installation

Court Painter & Apocalyptic Museum of Grief