“Never change your hair or your opinion” says Fran
“A Day Without Art Is Like A Dog Without A Bone” says Court Painter
Category: Images
For The Kids Sake
In a major marketing push,Court Painter cranked out a series of anonymous portraits that are aimed squarely at the kiddies market!
Special Guest (name available upon request) and Court Painter in studio
Pending Important Announcement!
The National Gallery of Canada is sending a Marc Chagall masterpiece to New York for auction next month — part of a new policy that will see the gallery put more items from its current collection on the block, or send them elsewhere.
The proceeds will be used to buy an important work of “national heritage” that the gallery is negotiating to acquire but will not identify, said a spokeswoman.
When asked to respond to a rumour emanating from Court Painter’s studio concerning the identity of this important work of national heritage, Court Painter remained coy and would only smile from ear to ear while rubbing two fingers together!
Security Briefing
Court Painter Accepts Liberal Offer Of Security Briefing On Invisible National Security Advisor Affair
The issue sparked an all-night booze fuelled studio party last month.
The Great Dominion’s preeminent portraitist Court Painter has accepted the Liberal government’s offer of a briefing on the National Security Advisor Daniel Jean invisibility affair, but he has some conditions.
In a statement released Tuesday by his Press Attache A Hardon MacKay, Court Painter said he told the government that he will invite his unpaid studio interns,his photogenic Press Attache and the media to attend the portion of the briefing dealing with non-classified information.
If the briefing moves to classified details, Court Painter said only the talented studio assistants who are, like him, fans of Queens last album, will stay in the room for a separate briefing.
Queen’s fan base includes current and former unpaid studio interns and other prominent Canadians, such as former governors generals or chief justices, appointed for life who covertly advised Freddy Mercury and Queen on issues of importance to Canada i.e. appropriate work clothes for the musical man. They carry the title “Honourable” for life.
Court Painter also fits the bill, as does his Press Attache, having being vetted by officials and granted certain security clearances.
Court Painter; to help put this security affair to rest, has been pushing for Daniel Jean, the prime minister’s invisible National Security adviser, to appear in his Inglewood studio for a portrait sitting . CP commented,”I can put some painterly meat on those misty bones!”
Press Attache A Hardon MacKay when pressed by reporters how this would help, merely shrugged in the style of his favourite Great Dominion Prime Minister Pierre Elliott Trudeau and uttered “Just watch us, Art is not for the faint of heart.”
The Booster
House of Commons Outrage!
Read this and learn something! Scientists still dispute whether Neanderthals should be classified as a distinct species – Homo neanderthalensis – or as Homo sapiens neanderthalensis, placing Neanderthals as a subspecies of H. sapiens. Male & Female Neanderthals made and used a diverse set of sophisticated tools, controlled fire, lived in shelters, made and wore clothing, were skilled hunters of large animals and also ate plant foods, and occasionally made symbolic or ornamental objects. There is evidence that Neanderthals deliberately buried their dead and occasionally even marked their graves with offerings, such as flowers. No other primates, and no earlier human species, had ever practiced this sophisticated and symbolic behavior.
OTTAWA — Sometime today…Based somewhat on a CP story
Andrew Scheer, Conservative leader is demanding an apology to his deputy leader, Lisa Raitt, who was the target of what Scheer claims was an insulting and sexist remark from Finance Minister Bill Morneau.
But PM Trudeau says he doesn’t need to take any lessons on respect for women from a Tory leader who won’t commit to appointing a gender-balanced cabinet, as the Liberal leader has done, should he become prime minister.
The ever optimistic and future feminist Scheer retorted that there’ll be plenty of “strong Conservative women” in cabinet after next year’s federal election.
The jousting over who is the bigger defender of women comes after Raitt accused Morneau of hypocrisy, making what she called cynical vote-buying gestures towards women in his February budget while personally failing to practice what he preaches; she bemoaned the under-representation of women in the company Morneau headed before entering politics, in the senior ranks of the Finance Department and in his ministerial office.
Morneau called her line of questioning “offensive” and said the Liberal government strongly believes that promoting women into positions of leadership is a key to a successful economy; he added that the government “will drag along the Neanderthals who don’t agree with that.”
Can you believe he said that ….would he say Neanderthal outside the protection of Parliamentary privilege….I bet not and kudos to future feminist Andrew Scheer for defending one of his most effective opposition performers female or male.
Lisa Raitt MP , well known as a violet not shrinking has remained prudently silent in the face of the Neanderthals slur. Future feminist and career opposition leader Andrew Scheer took her aside to explain in preparation for future opposition outrage eruptions; ‘sexist subtextuality’ especially when Neanderthals are referenced.
After Question Period , Ms Raitt was seen consoling Andrew and explaining politics is a gutter sport often using human history references that sometimes ‘will make you shudder’.
Paddle Time & Random Portrait
Naughty Bits in the News
Stormy Daniels lawyer Michael Avenatti revealed she could ‘describe his genitalia’. His meaning “David Dennison aka The Donald”or vice versa!
Court Painter seizing on this revelation , invited Stormy for a quick trip to The Great White North to participate in a Naughty Bits snow drawing competition being held in Banff.
Stormy got carried away and came up with a number of wonderfully expressive snow renderings that she swore on a stack of The Art of the Deal book covers, described to the best of her pornographic memory The Donald’s naughty bits.
Press Attache A Hardon MacKay worked out a deal with Stormy for permission to have the ephemeral snow drawings memorialized in painted masterworks by Court Painter which reported would eventually be offered to the Smithsonian Institute or The Donald’s Presidential Library for a healthy tax credit!
Family Viewing
Many American families still carry on the tradition of Sunday nights around the TV.
Vanilla Thrilla
WASHINGTON — President Trump threatened former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr. on Thursday, saying in a tweet that Mr. Biden “would go down fast and hard” if the two men ever physically fought. Mr. Trump was responding to Mr. Biden’s comments on Tuesday about how, if he was in high school, Mr. Biden would “beat the hell” out of Mr. Trump for disrespecting women.
