Sunlight is the best disinfectant

The Alberta government will hold a public inquiry into oil & gas companies that it says have been bankrolled by foreign energy giants hell-bent on keeping Canada’s oil and gas reaching new markets.

“They often say that sunlight is the best disinfectant. This public inquiry will be sunlight on the activities of the oil & & gas sector which has run Alberta’s economy since ancient times,” Premier Jason Kenney said Thursday.

“It will investigate all of the national and international connections, follow the money trail and expose all of the transnational fossil fuel interests involved to receive the Order Of Advantage Alberta in a ceremony of gratitude.”

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He said the inquiry — with a budget of $2.5-million — will not bother to see if any laws have been broken and will not recommend any appropriate legal and policy action if by chance a dead duck is found belly up in a tailings pond.

“Most importantly, it will serve notice that Alberta will forever allow oil & gas interest groups to dictate our economic destiny as one of the most ethical (my term) major producers of energy in the world.”

Court Painter stands proudly before his favourite subject.

The first phase of the inquiry is to focus on fact finding, with public hearings at the Petroleum Club to follow at the Ranchman’s Club and if necessary The Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers. A report is to be delivered in iambic pentameter on the steps of the Legislature in a year.

Kenney said deep-pocketed U.S. & International oil & gas companies  have been on the teat of Alberta governments since time immemorial and have kept the  trillion litres or so of toxic waste produced by their ethical operations well clear of Calgary & Edmonton town limits. For that public spiritedness,”I am profoundly grateful,” he gushed!

“I think giant international oil & gas producers realized from the beginning that Alberta amongst all of the major energy producers would be the most easily intimidated by intimidation,” he said. “And you know what? They were right.”