Premier Kenney taking a stance against the tailings ponds
In an astounding display of leadership not shown by any of Alberta’s previous premiers,newly minted Premier Jason Kenney has vowed to “turn off the tap” on any additional oil sector effluent flowing into the vast tailing ponds which have reached a volume of 830 million cubic meters give or take a meter.
“As Albertans we know when enough is enough and we aren’t going to take it anymore and as your leader , I recognize the root of your spitting rage and anger is the filling of more and more tailing ponds and….well…we just can’t take it anymore. Once I examined the secret files revealed to me upon taking office, I was shocked to discover the tailings ponds structures along with the ponds themselves cover an area of 220 square kilometers—an area about 1.5 times larger than the city of Vancouver ; from that moment I knew it was time to put the gloves on!”
Premier Kenney taking a stance against the tailings ponds
To memorialize this brave epiphany , vivid paintings by Inglewood’s favourite celebrity artist Court Painter were commissioned to depict Premier Kenney in striking poses that harken back to the pugilist stances of the old west.
“Paintings of a modern pugilist in the era of the anthropocene,” remarked Press Attache A Hardon MacKay… unprompted.
