Editors note: No images relating to the following unsolicited article were supplied by the author however a random selection of Court Painter storage works have been made available for your viewing pleasure by the generosity of the Court Painter Tax Shelter Foundation Co.
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The First-Ever Sample of Cigarette Ash Collected From the Court Painter Is Coming to Auction. Socialist Minded Pinkos Thinks It Belongs to the People
After a storied history, the ash sample is hitting the auction block once again.
Despite the best efforts of AHM,Press Attache to Court Painter, samples of cigarette ash collected by an unpaid studio intern could fetch more than $8 next month at Waddington’s Yard Sale in Toronto.The auction house is touting the lot as “the only Court Painter ash sample that can be legally sold”—but if AHM had his way, even this sample wouldn’t be offered to a private buyer.
Seems an unidentified studio intern scooped up a handful of the fine, chalky particles studded with sawdust that comprise the specimen. After the studio intern was forced to turn over the sample and summarily fired , it remained in an unassuming discarded weed decontamination baggie over the studio slop sink. At some point in time, Court Painter & AHM lost track of the baggie, but by 2020 it was mysteriously in the possession of CP’s nemesis and competitor CC (name available upon request)—who was indicted for stealing discarded CP cigarette butts from the studio ashtrays. When CC was convicted in the court of public opinion, the bag ,as one would expect, became the property of Jason Kenney’s oily government.
A former and currently disgraced Alberta attorney general purchased the sample online for $7.95 from a government sale in 2021, without knowing exactly what was inside the lot, which was labeled only as a “ zippered sample baggie containing precious cancer stick ash.” Intrigued, the former, now currently disgraced attorney general sent the bag to (redacted) to learn more, and when the (redacted) agency realized the import of the bag, it refused to return the sample to him. Without being prompted, CC (name available upon request) insisted that “this artifact, I believe, belongs to the Alberta people and should be on display for the public and protected from the Chinook..” In spite of Court Painter’s freedom of the market place leanings, he was quite moved by the statement!
However, fate being fate…the currently disgraced, former attorney general only allowed private viewings for a fee , and Rachel and the NDP are really pissed off along with others too numerous to mention who believe the viewings should be socialized .W Brett Wilson is fine with the way things are.
Now, for reasons not made public, the sample is returning to auction once again in the not too distant future, where it anchors the “Court Painter Detritus Pile Featuring A Special Cigarette Ash Sample” sale and carries an estimate of $9.99 to $12 . Additional featured lots include an original photo of Court Painter butting a cigarette in a glass of Pilsner beer at the Cecil Hotel and a discarded, used cigarette holder believed to be FDRs.
None of this article could be verified at the time of posting.
