Conservative leader of the opposition Pierre Poilievre was an overwhelming choice at the recent Windbag Award ceremony and was buoyed by his tone perfect inflated fashion statement!
Court Painter seen relaxing after pumping out a recent portrait of PP.
Court Painter has retooled his entire studio production facility to meet the unprecedented demand for paintings that include…you guessed it…balloons!
In a quickly assembled press availability Court Painter and his Press Attache A Hardon MacKay revealed in order to keep up with Court Painter’s rapid production it became necessary to hire more unpaid studio interns to process orders and hire a skilled retooling expert AB, originally from Lethbridge to modernize the studio workshop to meet the accelerated canvas & stretcher output needs. His specialized knowledge of the flywheel is crucial since a flywheel used in an art studio application istwo wheels spinning in opposite directions close together, and, when the ball goes in between them, it launches the ball. In a 7:1 gear ratio, for every one rotation of the first gear, the last gear in the sequence turns seven times. Flywheels can be oriented in two main directions and are fundamental to equipping a forward looking and efficient balloon painting studio.
Questions of who the customers are was answered in clipped tones identifying intelligence personnel from both sides of the 49th parallel plus bureaucrats, politicians, celebrities, helmet salesfolks, long care home residents and Chicken Little.
It is a strange and singular amalgam, this novel coalition which is not — both authors swear — a coalition. What are we to make of the current circumstances of Canadian journalism?
The National Post features two of the shining stars of vainglorious verisimilitudinous verbosity ,Rex & Jordan in one co authored arrangement of letters made up of subjects, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, prepositions & symbols used to separate and clarify the meaning of sentences and written elements. Being busy with other things Court Painter hasn’t read the two headed screed however he guesses it includes declarative sentences (which are statements), interrogative sentences (which are questions), and imperative sentences (which are orders) stewed in the juices of resentment, moralizing, ,nostalgia, freedom signalling horn honking, fear mongering…. predictably long winded ,full of bad advice and run off at the mouth sentences! Whew!
Before you scurry off to the National Post site in pursuit of this speechifying article to witness the verbal slaying of the noble yet slightly flawed NDP leader Jagmeet Singh perhaps you could remember this quote by our favourite bard…
He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the staple of his argument.
Carnegie Mellon University’s Robotics Institute has a new artist-in-residence.
FRIDA, a robotic arm with a paintbrush taped to it, uses artificial intelligence to collaborate with humans on works of art. Ask FRIDA to paint a picture, and it gets to work putting brush to canvas.
FRIDA, named after Frida Kahlo, stands for Framework and Robotics Initiative for Developing Arts. The project is led by Schaldenbrand with RI faculty members Jean Oh and Jim McCann has attracted students and researchers across CMU.
Court Painter is an admirer of the original flesh & blood Frida and has created in her honour Self Portraits as Frida in his analog studio .Court Painter does not allow demonstration videos of his studio activities because the light is unflattering and ages him by 10 years.
Also Court Painter challenges FRIDA to a paint off with Court Painter having one arm tied behind his back!
Court Painter was delighted to offer his services as official portraitist for Premier Danielle Smith and Prime Minister Trudeau who met for a relaxed portrait sitting while squeezing in a discussion on shared aspirations and concerns over pending federal legislation aimed at helping Canadian workers adapt to the global move to increasing reliance on renewable energy.
The short gathering began with Trudeau reaching down to shake hands, with Smith offering a hesitant palm down hand in return, prompting Trudeau to take it and hold it in place with his thumb on top as the cameras clicked and whirred.
Court Painter ,though witness to that gesture, preferred instead to concentrate on the inner feelings of the subjects and express the firm grip they demonstrate on the issues facing the Great Dominion.
Editors note: force majeure is a legal term used to refer to events beyond one’s control.
The Court Painter dare devil balloon ride was first spotted on Thursday February 3/22, when a homemade helium-filled gas ballon coincidently resembling the latest Chinese weather and surveillance ballon was released into the atmosphere above Calgary Alberta by Court Painter’s Press Attache AHM who went on to claim that Court Painter was occupying a hanging basket attached to the balloon.
Canada announced that it had called Press Attache AHM onto the carpet as Ottawa and Washington expressed their disapproval Friday over a high-altitude balloon found to have been hovering over sensitive sites in the United States. The balloon was spotted in U.S. airspace on Thursday, according to a GAC spokeswoman ..
Court Painter’s Press Attache AHM was summoned by officials at Global Affairs Canada, a statement said.
“We will continue to vigorously express our position to Press Attache AHM through multiple channels.”
The discovery of Court Painter’s high jinks was announced by Pentagon officials who said one of the places it was spotted was over the state of Montana, which is home to one of America’s three nuclear missile silo fields at Malmstrom Air Force Base.
Canada’s Department of National Defence said the balloon’s movements were being actively tracked by the North American Aerospace Defence Command, which is responsible for monitoring airborne threats to the continent.
However, the Defence Department said in its statement that Canadian intelligence agencies were working with American counterparts.
In a relatively conciliatory statement, Press Attache AHM said late Friday that the balloon was a civilian art studio used mainly for artistic research. AHM said the airship studio has limited “self-steering” capabilities and “deviated far from its planned course” because of winds.
The unintended entry of the airship studio into U.S. airspace due to force majeure,” AHM said, citing a legal term used to refer to events beyond one’s control.
A senior U.S. defence official said the U.S. had prepared fighter jets to shoot down the balloon if ordered.
The Pentagon ultimately recommended against it, noting that even as the balloon was over a sparsely populated area of Montana, its size would create a debris field large enough that it could have put people at risk of being struck with not only Court Painter fragments but also canvas, stretcher frames, brushes, oil paints and wooden easel debris.
Authorities confirmed the balloon reached 60,000 feet during its continuing flight. The event attracted worldwide attention and Court Painter was nicknamed “The Balloon Guy” in the media.
National Guard helicopters and NORAD jets pursued the balloon but hesitated to shoot it down because of it’s valuable cultural icon cargo. Court Painter could be seen by NORAD jet pilots waving with one hand from the basket while painting with the other.It was reported that an object had been seen falling from the balloon, and after a search was begun ,a stunning painting depicting a UFO was found beside some tumbleweeds on the banks of the Elbow River.
Tucker Carlson Calls For USA to Invade Canada: ‘Why Don’t We Liberate It?’
By Aidan McLaughlin Jan 27th, 2023, 10:17 am MEDIAite
Fox News host Tucker Carlson called on the United States to invade Canada in baffling comments during an interview Thursday.
In an interview with Hillsdale College professor David Azerrad, a Canadian, Carlson brought up the “authoritarian government” of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and its response to the 2022 trucker protest in which opponents of vaccine mandates blockaded the streets of Ottawa.
“I’m completely in favor of a Bay of Pigs operation to liberate that country,” Carlson said. “Why should we stand back and let our biggest trading partner, the country with which we share the longest border — and actually, I’ll just say, a great country, I love Canada, I’ve always loved Canada because of its natural beauty — why should we let it become Cuba?”
He proposed that the invasion of Canada would be a better use of America’s military might than supporting Ukraine in its fight against the Russian invasion.
“Why don’t we liberate it?” Carlson asked. “We’re spending all this money to liberate Ukraine from the Russians, why are we not sending an armed force north to liberate Canada from Trudeau?”
If you thought Carlson was joking, think again. At the end of his proposal, he added: “And, I mean it.”
Canadian military intelligence has determined the leadership and planned boots on the ground that constitute the mothertucker’s invasion force!
The liberation force brain trust
Donald Trump Junior
Eric Trump
Jared Kushner
Court Painter seen with painting of the invasion force boots on the ground specimens
The Great Dominion also known as Canada has a variety of powerful forces to draw upon should any invasion forces attempt to breach our southern border.
TOP SECRET: Our Classified Documents System Is [Redacted] | The Problem With Jon Stewart Podcast
The media is chasing the classified documents fiasco like it’s spy vs. spy, Trump vs. Biden. But on this week’s episode, we’re breaking down the absurdity of a national security system that makes it so darn easy to hoard classified documents. We’re joined by Matthew Connelly, professor of history at Columbia and author of “The Declassification Engine: What History Reveals about America’s Top Secrets,” who gives us the inside scoop on how unwieldy our system for keeping state secrets has become, who it’s really designed to protect, and how we might revamp it so that it actually, you know, can keep a secret.
The full episode is available on Apple Podcasts: theproblem.link/ApplePodcast
Note: The interview aired before the news that former vice president Pence also took home classified documents.
Former President Trump remains defiant as America drowns
Justin Trudeau says Joe Biden will meet some ‘real people’ on his visit to Canada
Editors Note: All the images are make believe and are intended for illustrative purposes only.
Court Painter as he will be seen with President Biden & Prime Minister Trudeau
The prime minister is pleased as punch that the U.S. president is finally making a trip to Ottawa to meet with Court Painter who will travel from his studio in Calgary by an oil & gas powered scooter.
Court Painter seen with PM Trudeau drawing up the plan for President Biden’s visit
U.S. President Joe Biden will be getting out to a specially constructed “studio dance floor” to meet hard scrabble art worker Court Painter when he pays a call on this country in March, says Justin Trudeau.
Court Painter seen strutting his stuff on the studio dance floor
While part of the official visit will be taking place in Ottawa, Trudeau says he’s reasonably sure that Biden will insist on a visit to Court Painter’s fully equipped one car garage size studio in tony Inglewood Alberta, where dancing is encouraged unless Trudeau shows up!
”To see where the real magic happens”, Biden was said to have mumbled according to an anonymous lip reader and Youtube influencer.
Court Painter seen strumming next to the painting he will paint as a document to the planning of the visit.
A docent (name withheld) explains the painting that will be painted that depicts two powerful hard scrabble male specimens.
Court Painter seen with the former US President’s favourite painting and family members
“Court Painter has an ease with powerful people and likewise puts them at ease with his easy presence. An obvious choice to meet with President Biden .”Press Attache A Hardon MacKay uttered reverently in a voice barely above a whisper.
Court Painter becoming the next Prime Minister of Canada would trigger a transforming revolution around the art world. It would be an inspiring example of what a talented brush handler can achieve.
The only limp competition out there is Pierre Poilievre and Jordan Peterson but they are Sunday painters next to the masterful brush handler and resume padder extraordinaire: Court Painter.
Once the rumour was planted on social media the response was as expected…120% in favour of posting personal opinions.
If Court Painter became PM of Canada, I (as a British citizen) would emigrate in a heartbeat. He’s intelligent, truthful, communicative, clear, resolute and the bravest person next to his Press Attache I’ve ever encountered.
I want this to happen! I would definitely vote for Court Painter. Can’t let this country run by a clowns and bye bye peoples who look funny. A fan from Istanbul that was once Constantinople.
I believe that the world needs many leaders like Court Painter! We need one in Australia too. If I was a Canadian, I would vote for him in a heartbeat while suffering a heart attack. Honesty and Integrity and Face Painting Talent, a rare combination.
I am from Czech Republic, my english is not so strong, but I am so happy happy there is such a great person like Court Painter, because he showed me the possibility there is a way to live my life with honest and truth based on open eyes ,runny nose and suffering soul when looking at his art. Court Painter, you are great person for me, I will keep my faith for art purchasing in how you say, life since I die…
Court Painter, if I were a citizen of Canada, I would vote for you in a heartbeat, as well as encourage everyone I know to do the same! You are one of the (all too few) true art heroes that this sad, broken art world desperately needs! I wish you great success in all of your noble ventures! May God bless and sustain you with “heap plenty sales”!
If this man Court Painter became PM of Canada, Canada would become the coolest and most bad ass place on the planet.Have you checked out his threads?
I would be so proud, more than ever before, to be Canadian if Court Painter was prime minister. He would take us to heights no one took us since Don Cherry and Mr. Wonderful. Court Painter you the One for prime minister!
I STAND BESIDE YOU AND BACK YOU 110% Court Painter. I literally wrote a letter to the Office of the COP in ON this morning telling them they would have to deal with me and my army if they harmed one hair of your head!!!. You are a very beautiful honest and true capitalist of the grifter tradition and I like some of your paintings…not all…actually very few…
Not only Canada but the rest of the art world needs this to happen! I wish you all the best in this and every art world! Greetings from Romania!
I am Canadian, I believe you are needed on the outside of art corruption and Canadians helping you hold the rains. That is real power.
My first impulse was to laugh ..OMG Court Painter..I can only imagine the debates…you so incredibly brilliant and unrivaled…..the art world really needs a motor mouth like you !! Go Go Go!!Hold it in till you get there….
This would be an art world changing event, not only the greatest thing to ever happen to our country north of the border and from sea to sea to see you in St Louis, Louy!
We need brush handlers peoples like you Sir, stay strong and keep that wrist from limping.
