Author: AllanHardingM

Directly to the Innernet

Court Painter posts his images on the innernet directly from the studio easel .No fuss no bother! Patrons enjoy nothing but freshness of image & idea the moment of arrival on the platform of their choice. But that’s not all. Behind the scenes he incorporates hand ground pigments and fine linen canvases in the studio picture making process to bring out the essence of the artistic ingredients , assuring the right degree of a ripeness even after the long journey through the innernet pipes.

Great pictures bring capitalists and socialists together but it can sometimes be a chore to understand what in tarnation is going on . Many people don’t have the time or energy to put together the extraordinary patience required to understand fancy pants art. Court Painter takes out all the hard work for his patrons and presents them with nothing but great easy to understand pictures to be enjoyed with friends, family and ideological opposites.

Crystal Ball Supplier Sued

Court Painter has undertaken a law suit against Crystal Ball Futures Inc.

Seems Court Painter was assured that the paintings  he created of future events with the aid of the Crystal Ball Futures product would hold up to any present tense scrutiny. Current events proved this is not the case and  Court Painter has been forced to dump on the market a series of images at a much reduced price over the premium commission fees he normally charges.

“We only undertook the use of the crystal ball to aid in building up inventory for what is predicted to be a huge rush at Christmas.” said Press Attache A Hardon MacKay in an emotional press briefing.

He went on to say that after this ill fated venture into the future, Court Painter would return to his traditional real time method of capturing the likeness and setting of his sitter in the ever present.

Court Painter is suing for the tarnishing of his brand, emotional strife and loss of one other thing to be determined at a future date!

The bargain basement priced series is being marketed as Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch and will hit the market before Easter.

Note: To rub salt in the wound,Crystal Ball Futures Inc. had insisted on a product placement in every painting.

Is there no shame!

Conservative MP Scott Reid accused the prime minister of sneaking a bagel under his House of Commons desk.

Rules state members “may refresh themselves with glasses of water during debate, but the consumption of any other beverage or food is not allowed.”

Reid, a longtime Tory MP, also called out the defence and heritage ministers for the same violation.The defence minister reportedly snuck in a  Canadian Armed Forces Individual Meal Pack (IMP) of his favourite smoked meat with mustard sauce and the heritage minister had  Arancini Meatballs and Stonewall Kitchen Pesto with Canada Geese, the natural mineral water from Nova Scotia a healthy and refreshing beverage with natural minerals. This gently sparkling water with a balanced and harmonious taste is perfect as a thirst-quencher or as a companion to food during filibusters and procedural wrangling.

SHAME!

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau rose to admit to breaching the no-food rule, but said the item wasn’t a baked good. “It was a chocolate bar. I apologize,” he said.

A House of Commons Food police spokesperson speaking off the record, determined it might have been a Hershey’s Coffee Crisp ,a recipe explicitly created in 2013 for the discerning Canadian palate. Unlike their American counterparts, the bars are sweeter, smoother, higher in fat content, and have a creamier flavour profile designed specifically for Canadians.

SHAME!

Diverse hardworking middle class Canadians and wildlife held their heads in shame as another rule was broken by the Prince of Principle.

Alas,can the Conservative Party be any better since a veteran member of parliament can’t tell a bagel from a chocolate bar (or his arse from a hole in the ground). Editors note: That last part was added as partisan spice!

What is to become of the Great Dominion at this….the crossroads of our nation crossing the Rubicon and taking the irrevocable step that commits our nation to a specific course and stuff like that?  Editors note: not sure what this means but decided to leave it in anyway!