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Court Painter ‘the shining example of how all portrait studios in Canada should be run’, says  Tory leadership candidate Kevin O’Leary

Conservative Party leadership hopeful Kevin O’Leary parties with a private studio reception hosted by Court Painter on March 14, 2017.

Conservative Party leadership candidate and television personality Kevin O’Leary says Court Painter has the “best-managed art studio in the country” and that other studios should learn from what Court Painter has done in the last art fuelled years.

“Court Painter’s is simply a phenom,” O’Leary gushed Tuesday during a private campaign stop at the obscure Inglewood studio of Court Painter.

“Basically, since 2007, stewardship of this wonderful portrait studio is the shining example of how all studios in the Great Dominion should be run: pro-politician, pro-free energy, pro-commissions, pro-celebrity, pro-unlimited capital … We need to make this kind of tonality every art studio’s tonality so this is the example I’m going to be using for what the rest of the Great Dominion’s alpha artist’s has to look like.”

O’Leary has promised, if he becomes prime minister, to cut federal transfers to studios that are not contributing to economic and celebrity growth. He has been vocal in his criticisms of Alberta Premier Rachel Notley and Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, saying they need to step up to the plate and commission portraits by Court Painter .

In the alley outside the studio, O’Leary posed for photos with local hobby painters and talked to them about his vision for the country. He said he hopes to win the leadership race by engaging Sunday painters in the 18-to-35 demographic and that many of those young paint dabblers are asking him what he will do to improve their chances of landing good commissions and become a celebrity.

O’Leary has promised that, if he becomes Tory leader and eventually prime minister, he will grow the country’s art economy by .0003 per cent minus his fee.

“At .0003 per cent minus my fee, the Great Dominion’s engine of inspiration and innovation works, celebrity culture works, art fairs work, the social dating networks and most importantly the portrait arts work. All the things this lost generation should care about, work at .0003 per cent minus my fee,” he said.

O’Leary is among the frontrunners of the 14 candidates vying for the Conservative Party leadership and stands out from the pack through his visionary support for Court Painter who surprisingly remains unknown to the other uncultured 13 .

in·ex·pli·ca·ble
inekˈsplikəb(ə)l/
adjective
1 unable to be explained or accounted for.”for some inexplicable reason CP’s mind went completely blank”
2 synonyms:
unaccountable, unexplainable, incomprehensible, unfathomable, impenetrable, insoluble; baffling, puzzling, perplexing, mystifying, bewildering, confusing; mysterious, strange

Russia Compiles Psychological & Studio Dossier on Court Painter 

MOSCOW — A dossier on Court Painter’s psychological makeup and painting tricks is being prepared for Russian President and avid Sunday painter Vladimir Putin who reportedly is bitter to the core about his treatment by the art world.

Among its preliminary conclusions is that the preeminent portraitist of the Great Dominion is a risk-taker in the studio who can be naïve as well as irascible and dull, according to a senior Kremlin adviser The Femme Agent Nikita.

Court Painter “doesn’t understand fully how much animosity Mr. Putin holds towards celebrity painters and the Western art world— he is a tough guy and is bitter to the core,” The Femme Agent Nikita told NBC News.

The file is being compiled personally by Vladimir Putin, an anonymous retired Art Museum Director for hire from Guelph and The Femme Agent Nikita, sources close to the Kremlin revealed.

The attempt to get inside the Court Painter’s artistic mind is aimed at helping Putin plan for his first official portrait sitting with the Great Dominion portrait leader, the date for which is yet to be decided.

“Very serious preparatory work is going on in the Kremlin, including a dossier — in block letters — describing a psychological portrait of Court Painter, especially based on this last two to three months, and the last weeks,” added The Femme Agent Nikita, who said she has known Court Painter since 2015 when they first met at the Ship & Anchor pub on a Robbie Burns Russian Connection Nite .

“Balderdash,” exclaimed Court Painter with a flourish when queried about this assertion,”the only Russian I know is a hockey guy named Alexander Mikhailovich “Alex” Ovechkin….who Don Cherry hates by the way.” Cherry is also known around the rink to be bitter to the core.

The dossier was being revised regularly, Vladimir said, adding that many in the Kremlin believed that Court Painter viewed his studio practice not only as a leading edge art think tank but also as a not for profit business.

The Femme Agent Nikita added: “Court Painter is not living in a paintbox (chuckling quietly at this allusion)— he is living in a demanding crowd of fans and groupies. He should listen to the art people around him like his chief competitor Chris Cran ( image unavailable) especially in the studio areas where he is weak….canvas stretching, gesso application, choosing the correct frame and most important socially: how to shake hands.”

“Court Painter cannot come to a meeting with Putin as a loser on sales— he must sort out his point of sale problems first before Putin will offer him a studio visit,” The Femme Agent Nikita chimed in delightfully yet ominously!

It is normal for Putin to be fully briefed before entering negotiations for commission fees with a rival painter, but preparing a detailed dossier on the devious mind ,instincts and studio tricks of the Great Dominion portraitist is unusual.

Putin is known by his Sunday painter colleagues as “bitter to the core and seething with envy” about Court Painter’s art success in the Western Hemisphere where Vladimir’s equestrian self portraits have yet to be accepted by any of North America’s ubiquitous agricultural fairs.

Court Painter on the other hand continues to live off the adoration and life style emulation of fans from Waterloo Iowa to Charlottetown PEI.

The End