Category: Images

Unzipped

Unzipped: A Condensed History of Court Painter’s Secret Life’ 

Court Painter dominates a portrait of his painter nemesis  ( name available upon request) in the library of Court Painter’s studio.

Continuing over  his lifetime, the Great Dominion’s Court Painter  is  viewed as occasionally sober, serious and competent. But when his diaries were made public after his Press Attache leaked them, the world learned that he communed with peelers and the spirit world while imbibing copious amounts of spirits, earning him the nickname “Weird Willy.”

 

Court Painter and his stuffed dog Stuffy

Court Painter isn’t the Great Dominions most charismatic portrait painter. Nor is he the most popular.

But he is the longest serving, holding the Court Painter studio together for 5 years. And he is a respected portraitist  — so much so that when he had a studio exhibition, close to a dozen people stood in line (in the torrential rain) to visit as he collected pennies as admission.

And then, in the 2018s, his most private thoughts began to leak into the public sphere.

Random gossip traces the transformation of the public’s knowledge and opinion of Court Painter’s character.

Thousands of pages of hand scribbled diaries, spanning many years, exposed him as an oddball and eccentric who hung out with oddballs and eccentrics— a lifelong bar fly and adorer of his stuffed  dog, he availed himself of hookers and quilters and communed with the spiritual world.

Suddenly the “master painter” earned a slew of new nicknames, including Weird Willy and the “dingbat in the Ingelwood belfry”.

The story of the diaries —and the secrets, melodrama and backroom dealings associated with Court Painter — is revealed in his Press Attaches new self published tell all booklet Unzipped, A History of Court Painter’s Secret Life.

 

Hopeless Romantic

This article has been approved by Court  Painter Enterprises

Cuz It’s 2018 in Ontario

Ontario government receives encased supine statue of Sir John A. Macdonald From Victoria

 

Photo of removed statue on flatbed,wrapped in foam packing from which a bronze cast was produced to encase Sir John A’s supine statue

The City of Victoria took down a statue of Sir John A. Macdonald as a symbol of reconciliation.  Ontario in the spirit of 2018 has requested and accepted the supine statue of Canada’s first prime minister that is pictured here, encased in cast bronze.

Upon removal of the standing statue a bronze casting was made of the original packing surrounding the statue of Sir John A,  where his supine statue has been encased in perpetuity before shipment to the Ontario Legislative grounds.

“It’s the least we could do cuz it’s 2018,” one of the PC government staffers uttered,while simultaneously clapping with gusto!

Ontario’s tourism minister says her government is so happy to provide a new home for the encased supine statue of Sir John A  to lay along side of an already  large statue of Canada’s first prime minister directly in front of Queen’s Park.

Sylvia Jones, the Dufferin-Caledon MPP named to PC Premier Doug Ford’s first cabinet this summer,allegedly was overheard by the Premier to have said, ” History matters however lets keep Sir John A’s role as architect of the residential schools thingy on the back burner and not spoil what is a wonderful occasion to acknowledge a flawed and complicated man from a flawed and complicated different time ….(an aside) if you ask me twas  better then this time of political correctness running with Amok and the liberal gang.”

However for the record,  upon launching his “architectural career” we should remember the May 1883 words of Sir John A,  spoken before the House of Commons : “When the school is on the reserve the child lives with its parents, who are savages; he is surrounded by savages, and though he may learn to read and write his habits, and training and mode of thought are Indian. He is simply a savage who can read and write … [T]he Indian children should be withdrawn as much as possible from the parental influence, and the only way to do that would be to put them in central training industrial schools where they will acquire the habits and modes of thought of white men.”

Sir John A may be encased but never forgotten and speaking of cases ,lets get back to celebrating the forthcoming Buck A Beer initiative the unflawed and uncomplicated leader for our times Dougie is unrolling for Ontarian’s!

 

 

Braggart

Court Painter is an established artist whose new paintings have attracted the international attention of millions (unsubstantiated) over the last few years or months …whatever. Highly detailed political and celebrity subjects are the focus of his paintings. The artist’s experiences and hunger for the almighty dollar are the inspiration for his work.

“I have traveled to many places around the world to know my subjects, but when I work on a painting with many figures I will usually pose my subjects, close my eyes and then paint them as I see them in my mind. I choose to paint from the heart as well as the palette and evoke my personal vision into each painting.”

“I prefer to paint portraits that I believe have relevance to what is going on in the political and celebrity world that I inhabit, that make a scintillating statement , stand for something or other, are cheap to make and fetch a good price. I trust people of refinement will study the paintings and reach beyond the shallow!

Some of the themes which I’m not at liberty to highlight are controversial, but I feel strongly about what is happening in the political and entertainment world today. There are three kinds of people who view my paintings: Those who like, those who hate and those who simply are dumber than a bag of hammers . I am especially interested in this last category. I know my work will create conversation and reach people on a deeper howbeit dimwitted level. I tend to use metaphors,old doors,polished floors, saddle sores and props that soar to create multiple levels of meaning to soften my clients psyche and loosen the purse strings entwining the clients ….purse. If it makes them think thoughts and feel feelings, then I know I have been successful.”

Court Painter is the Great Dominion and  America’s Artist for our current generation and crisis,pouring inspiration into his penetrating portraits, giving meaning and hope to many during the past Harper and current Trump years; Court Painter offers hope and a dash of doubt for mortals facing morals charges and the cultural, political and artistic crisis of today and indubitably the day after tomorrow.

At Last : A Politician Who Listens

Ontario Premier Doug Ford has demonstrated an uncannily acute hearing ability in detecting racist remarks and bomb threats allegedly uttered by members of the opposition NDP during recent sittings of the Legislature.

The Doug took the opportunity to show off his hearing aids as well as highlight the Buck A Beer promotion!