Doug Coupland had some thoughts in 2018….

and what has this got to do with Facebook you ask…?

 

Fate of proposed offer to appoint Court Painter parliamentary artist laureate uncertain

Please Note Senators & Members of Parliament : The works illustrated are just a taste of what Court Painter is capable !

OTTAWA – A push underway on Parliament Hill to create and offer a new visual artist laureate to Court Painter has been procedurally thwarted, though it’s possible the proposal could resurface in the new year.

The proposal was to create a position to represent Canadian art in the same way the parliamentary poet laureate currently does.

Backers say creating this role would be a boon to Court Painter’s cultural cottage industry and to Court Painter’s bottom line.

However bill, S-234 titled: Parliamentary Visual Artist Laureate for Court Painter , modelled after the existing Parliamentary Poet Laureate, was recently killed in the House of Commons after failing to secure a sponsor as well as accusations that annoying lobbying efforts by Court Painter’s Press Attache were…..well…annoying!

Press Attache A Hardon MacKay attempted to save the bill from being killed by weeping inconsolably in the visitor bleachers of the House of Commons.In presenting his outburst  to the House he said because the bill is “totally uncontroversial”he was sure all sides would support passing it immediately and make Court Painter’s day!

However, an unknown number of members said “no” when the Speaker asked if there was the unanimous consent needed, and so the proposal and the bill were dropped from the order paper, essentially killing it. ( Court Painter in a text message upon receiving the news said ominously,” I know where these unknown members live…let me just leave it at that.)

Typically that’d be where the story would end but it is expected that the Senate– where the bill originated– will try to revive the proposal in the new year. Press Attache AHM expressed confidence in the bill’s revival since he knows a number of the Senators personally and is aware of explosive personal information on each one ….that …lets just say ….could be damaging to anyones political career should it leak to the media or their significant others.

The bill—one page in big letters— prescribes that the mandate of the visual artist laureate would be to promote knowledge, awareness, and development of Court Painter’s magnificent art , and for an unlimited term the artist may:

Produce artistic creations to cover existing murals and paint over current paintings in Parliament ; Sponsor artistic events and exhibits honouring Court Painter and his works; and Advise the Parliamentary Librarian on pumping up the library’s collection and  acquisitions of Court Painter art works and fonds.

 sample of the quality of portraits

In a hastily prepared news release Court Painter stated his case.

The creation and appointment of Court Painter as the artist laureate and as a parliamentary officer would add a more appropriate and influential outlet for the promotion of Court Painter in Canada. As an officer working to promote himself on a full-time basis from Parliament would be a tremendous boost to his reputation and juice his sales.It is time we celebrate Court Painter and his contributions to our culture and the expression of who he is by providing the position of an artist laureate to recognize and represent this most exciting artist , his fashion sense and promotional moxy.

Bill S-234 doesn’t spell out any compensation or stipend for the visual laureate, but throughout their study and debate Senators suggested that it should a least be equivalent to the poorest paid CEO of Canada’s struggling Big Bank sector.

“I think Canadians and parliamentarians can all benefit from a lot more Court Painter art in their lives,”  said Press Attache AHM  in a last ditch lobbying effort for the bill. He went on to say that Court Painter in the position of an artist laureate would enable him to have a national platform to showcase his work. Arts and culture is one of the most powerful tools we have for making social change however that shouldn’t get in the way of appointing Court Painter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Court Painter & Press Attache A Hardon MacKay undertook a home movie project just to take a break from the fumes of the painting studio.

After an exhaustive casting call, an aspiring local power couple who are experienced at posing in spite of their lacklustre careers in the performing and visual arts were willing to give the flickers a go! And go it went!

A behind the scene view of wifey & hubby about to undergo the rigours of makeup.

Unfortunately both the seniors forgot to put film in the motion picture camera and the only evidence of the shoot … a few stills from the security cameras that thankfully are ubiquitous in areas where the creatives hang out and do their thing.

This is the scene where hubby does some cool bugaloo moves while wifey  flirts with an undercover agent.

This is the scene where she tells hubby,”yes I sold all our oil stocks”.

This scene depicts where hubby is locked out of the limo and bursts into tears.

A typical beach scene of hubby painting wifey. The background scenery was hand painted by hubby.Can you spot another image of wifey in the scene?

End of shoot

C’est la vie!

In a much heralded position of solidarity seldom seen across the Great Dominion : Police officers,Police unions,Police associations,Police oversight boards and Police Commissions have collectively apologized for “the extremely rare and totally unacceptable practice of inadvertently carding white people”.

In a news release regarding this subject it was explained that carding was meant for people of colour and “in no way can there be justification for carding whites. Carding was designed as a special tool in the law enforcement toolbox for public safety and any diminishment of its targeted purpose and specialness to our citizens of colour is taken very seriously and will not be tolerated.”

Further training for all organizational levels of policing to assure carding remains pure in its intention is presently being workshopped in the precincts ,commission boardrooms and squad cars of the nation.

Court Painter was asked how he determines the thickness of the blue line.”At minimum it has to be as thick as a brick.”

 

In a gesture of defiance not witnessed since Mike Pense became Vice President , he refused to smell President Trump’s finger in public.