Alt Right Bright White

Taking advantage of his exclusive rights to make artistic use of the high-tech, light-reflecting paint Alt Right Bright White, the President Elect Donald J Trump has covered the entire surface of all the paintings in the White House with it. The result,is a reminder to all citizens and guests what an enduring tradition the Power of White has had for the world’s Greatest Democracy. The Donald acknowledges this artistic program to Make America Bright White Again is a far cry from what citizens and tourists have come to love  however he was swept in on a change vote and “change it’s gonna be.”


“The public has had decades to interact with the old framed antiques and I felt it was time for a change,” The Donald explained. “Whereas they were symbols of a less than great America and musty dusty in appearance, I think the Alt Right Bright White versions are more about introspection, about becoming oriented to the new order, anemic perhaps however enveloped in an overwhelming void of pale nothingness that once you step back they light up the room and look… well…..Great!.”


In spite of the President Elect’s recently acquired art lingo and existential ideas about the revamped White House paintings, the change to a dazzling lighter tone doesn’t seem to have deterred the droves of selfie-snappers. Since the artwork’s bright white unveiling , mostly pasty male tourists have been posting photos of themselves standing in front of or playfully cowering beneath their favourite newly painted white canvas. Meanwhile, locals have taken to calling them Donald’s Make America Bright White Again a twist on his campaign slogan Make America Great Again. He’s always thinkin’of the brand!

President Barack Obama opens the door to welcome Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew of Singapore, in the Oval Office, Oct. 29, 2009. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy) This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.

“I didn’t believe my friends when they first told me that he’d covered all the White House paintings in that ultra-Alt Right Bright White paint of his,” said visitor David Duke who visited the White House earlier this week. “But he did, and they are really, really white. White as Steve Bannon’s ass on a moonlit night.”


Trump said that he was pleased with his first public experiment with Alt Right Bright White and plans to spend the next year applying it to all paintings in the Senate and House of Representatives.
“Since before I was elected, the world had become a much darker place,except for Trump Tower which has a perpetual golden glow” he remarked. “I want the application of Alt Right Bright White to brighten things up and return this once great nation to the bright white beacon on the hill of it’s ole glory.”