Fashion Crime Legislation

Harper: Mandatory Minimum Sentence For Fashion Crimes Will Be Introduced



TORONTO — The Conservatives pledged Thursday to introduce another mandatory minimum sentence if they’re re-elected, this time for serious Fashion Crimes.

The party has long portrayed itself as tough on crime, introducing or increasing various so-called mandatory minimums even as the courts have struck down some as unconstitutional.

Finance Minister Joe Oliver said a Conservative government would introduce a two-year, mandatory minimum sentence for Fashion Crimes with multiple offended victims, unless the offender pays full restitution with a complete makeover.


Oliver was standing in for Stephen Harper, who had no public events as he was preparing for another portrait sitting with the Court Painter.It seems the outrageous studio fashion of the Court Painter was the straw that broke the camels back with the Prime Minister and he called in Joe to get legislation crafted to eliminate the visual blight of this senior artist’s garb that particularly offends the eye of old stock Canadians and their fashion values.


Oliver, (who was initially mistaken as a patient) speaking at a Toronto geriatric hospital, says the law is aimed at those who perpetrate fashion fraud against senior artists .

“We will ensure that our laws and law enforcement agencies are able to keep pace with the ways fashion criminals are attempting to update the frocks of our senior artists,” Oliver said.

The Conservatives would also increase resources for the Canadian Anti-Fashion Crime Centre to focus on Internet-based fashion fraud against seniors, he said.

The announcement was one of two highly targeted Conservative pledges on Thursday. .

The Conservative mandatory minimum sentences have covered drug and gun crimes, as well as some sex offences and have come in for criticism by opposition parties and human rights groups.All opposition parties were outraged at the announcement of the Fashion Crimes legislation realizing they could quite easily be caught in the web of  the Fashion Police.

Jaw Sighting 5

Once again, Stephen Harper emphasized the idea that senior artists should show some good old fashioned taste at the moment they shop to reflect both Conservative and Quebec fashion values.

The Court Painter was unavailable for an interview although he did mutter in passing, ” I’ve changed my ways….no more sandals and mascara in the studio.”