helpful advice…

How to properly stare at Court Painter’s artwork?

“When you look up at a Court Painter artwork, the head presses down on the spine”.

Press Attache A Hardon M, lecturing in the airless and disheveled Court Painter studio to out of work art students , shamelessly paraphrased the words of a Mr. Josefsberg posture specialist on art viewing…

“Put your index fingers in your ears and imagine a rod at that angle. That’s that point from which you want to look up and down lovingly at a Court Painter masterwork.”

“If you try that, you’re not doing anything with your torso or your neck,the head is nor pressing on the spine. You’re giving your spine a rest. Also if you have any negative comments on what you see… just give it a rest!”

And finally, AHM aided by Mr Josefsberg’s thesis, went on to argue that part of the reason why we experience back pain while looking at Court Painter’s art is that we simply forget about our lust fueled bodies while being absorbed in the visual stimulation around us.

“Try to be mindful of your sensuous body while sashaying around Court Painter’s studio,” AHM concluded. “Save some wacky brainpower to what you’re doing with your sinful body as you are looking at the artworks of one of the world’s most unhealded pushers of paint, pulchritude & pathos.”

The Court Painter studio visit is described as an immersive interactive experience because of the olfactory stimulation of raw terpentine, body odour and subtle notes of nicotine in addition to the tactile crunch underfoot of sawdust, ash, pastel dust and discarded KFC chicken bones.

Visitors who neglected to follow the posture viewing advice have by in large described the experience as a pain in the neck.

Visitors on the way out,are requested to not forget to leave any and all spare change in the empty Tim Horton cup Court Painter is gripping .

Ever the gracious host Court Painter expects just a few pieces of silver for his efforts.