MaGoo McCallum

Canada’s former ambassador to China, Magoo McCallum sacked because of remarks he made in the wake of Huawei’s high-profile extradition case, said he has warned former colleagues at China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs that any further “punishments” imposed on Canada’s exports could lead to a change of government that is unfavourable to Beijing.

This is the scary part!

“Anything that is more negative against Canada will help the Conservatives, [who] are much less friendly to China than the Liberals,”

 Magoo McCallum veteran Liberal Party member, told the South China Morning Post in an interview in Hong Kong on Monday.

“I hope and I don’t see any reason why things will get worse, it would be nice if things will get better between now and the Great Dominions election in October.”

So there you go!

Sunlight is the best disinfectant

The Alberta government will hold a public inquiry into oil & gas companies that it says have been bankrolled by foreign energy giants hell-bent on keeping Canada’s oil and gas reaching new markets.

“They often say that sunlight is the best disinfectant. This public inquiry will be sunlight on the activities of the oil & & gas sector which has run Alberta’s economy since ancient times,” Premier Jason Kenney said Thursday.

“It will investigate all of the national and international connections, follow the money trail and expose all of the transnational fossil fuel interests involved to receive the Order Of Advantage Alberta in a ceremony of gratitude.”

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He said the inquiry — with a budget of $2.5-million — will not bother to see if any laws have been broken and will not recommend any appropriate legal and policy action if by chance a dead duck is found belly up in a tailings pond.

“Most importantly, it will serve notice that Alberta will forever allow oil & gas interest groups to dictate our economic destiny as one of the most ethical (my term) major producers of energy in the world.”

Court Painter stands proudly before his favourite subject.

The first phase of the inquiry is to focus on fact finding, with public hearings at the Petroleum Club to follow at the Ranchman’s Club and if necessary The Canadian Association of Petroleum Producers. A report is to be delivered in iambic pentameter on the steps of the Legislature in a year.

Kenney said deep-pocketed U.S. & International oil & gas companies  have been on the teat of Alberta governments since time immemorial and have kept the  trillion litres or so of toxic waste produced by their ethical operations well clear of Calgary & Edmonton town limits. For that public spiritedness,”I am profoundly grateful,” he gushed!

“I think giant international oil & gas producers realized from the beginning that Alberta amongst all of the major energy producers would be the most easily intimidated by intimidation,” he said. “And you know what? They were right.”

 

Down dooby doo down down

 

Cultural Melancholy, the subject of the rumoured reason for the broken throne and dissolution of Court Painter as one of the most successful artistic enterprises of its kind, is either in disposition or in habit. In disposition, is that transitory Melancholy which  came big time upon the Court Painter art studio with carbon taxes,sorrow, need, carbon taxes,sickness, trouble, fear, carbon taxes, grief, passion, or perturbation of the business mind, any manner of care, discontent, or thought, which causes anguish, dulness, heaviness and vexation of spirit, any ways opposite to pleasure, mirth, joy, delight, causing forwardness or a dislike. In which equivocal and improper sense, Business Magazine call it cultural melancholy, that is failure to move the product,dull, sad, sour, lumpish, ill-disposed, solitary, any way moved, or displeased. And from these melancholy dispositions no Court Painter enterprise is free, no Stoic studio, none so wise, none so happy, none so patient, so generous, so godly, so divine, that can vindicate itself; so well-composed, but more or less, some time or other, it feels the smart of it. Cultural Melancholy in this sense is the character of Mortality… This Melancholy of which we are to treat, is a habit, a serious ailment, a settled humour, as Aurelianus and others call it, not errant, but fixed: and as it was long increasing with poor sales so, now being (pleasant or painful) grown to a habit, it will hardly be removed.

Also it is rumoured a woman was involved!

They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know
I know that it’s true
Don’t say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making commissions again
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down

Curtains!

The Court Painter is going silent for a while. It’s just not funny trying to paint fun anymore….a few words circa 1802 from William Wordsworth as the curtain falls….

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;—
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.

Deep frickin’ Fakes

Deepfakes of Court Painter  politicians & celebrities emerge in auction houses

Though clearly meant to be honorific, Court Painter Deepfakes demonstrate how a proliferation of Court Painter copies can devalue his reputation and market value

Deepfakes —  use artificial intelligence to manipulate original Court Painter paintings into spittin’ image copies and pass them off  as the well-known commissions that Court Painter is…well…well know!(for)

The auction crowds were huge everywhere

Particular examples were clearly meant to be honorific rather than deceptive as Court Painter acknowledged in a prepared statement; read aloud in front of the underpaid  Tim Hortons staff in attendance.

“I understand fans wants to honour my best work but it’s killin’ my bottom line which at this point has no bottom but that’s another story. You can’t just have copies of my work appearing willy nilly on the high roller world art scene! The computer software to create these fakes is freely available online, which means that an increasing number of my fans have access to this technology. Many of these fans have access to social media and can distribute honorific yet fake content to dozens of auction and resale houses around the world or god forbid on Saachi’s web site. It is access to this sophisticated technology and the ability to distribute innumerable copies widely that is the threat to my upstart portrait commission business……..So frickin stop it!”

Taylor & Kate : auction assistants in foreground

Press Attache A Hardon MacKay ushered the irate Court Painter off the chair he was pontificating on… spilling his double double…while steadfastly refusing to take questions or accept answers.

Photo taken before the press conference

 

A Contorted Tale

Fever in the mornin’ Fever all through the night!

New study confirms what you already knew: Court Painter fever is taking over Canada

Angus Reid study shows that 40 per cent of Canadians are following Court Painter on their favourite device or purchased a portrait for home or place of business

A new study says almost half the country is watching with joy the meteor like rise of the Court Painter.

A study from the Angus Reid Institute published Thursday shows that a full 40 per cent of Canadians are paying attention to this artist.

A group of angry Albertans who love Court Painter

That includes everyone from ambivalent Montrealers to Calgarians to even folks in the out ports of Nova Scotia and optimistic treasure seekers digging away on Oak Island.

Also on the up is Canadian confidence in the artist chances to be Canada’s rep at the next Venice Biennale

While Canadian interest in the Court Painter is undeniable, Canadians are split on the question of who is really the power behind his throne: Some say it may be his mysterious and reclusive manager and Press Attache A Hardon MacKay.

47 per cent of Canadians polled say that no, the Court Painter is the one, while 45 per cent say his odd but seemingly effective Press Attache pulls all the strings.

Missy Mayhem seen preening is rumoured to be the Eminence Grise of the entire Court Painter enterprise

Angus Reed even asked about Drake, known for being the Court Painters biggest fan, what he thought. Drake would only reply “The Court Painter is my Man”

Drake’s reaction when hearing that he had won the Court Painter lottery and would get a free sitting with the Master

Only six per cent of respondents believe that the press Attache AHM brings bad luck (known as “the Scottish Plague”) compared to 26 per cent who say he actually brings good luck.(known as “the Scottish Plague Lite”)

43 per cent say that, despite back rubs from Missy Mayhem, his main squeeze, the Press Attache’s existence isn’t having an impact either way.

The Angus Reid study also found that even if the Court Painter is not selected to represent Canada at Venice most Canadians following the artist are already satisfied with his exemplary behaviour ,massive talent and celebrity looks. Three-quarters of respondents said that it’s enough for the Court Painter to be the ambassador that he is and that they would vote for him if he ran for Prime Minister.

When contacted, the Court Painter deferred all queries to his Press Attache A Hardon MacKay. In a subsequent phone conversation with AHM all he would say is “We have a product… a very good product” and then slammed the receiver down muttering something about “…getting down to Bearly’s House Of Blues & Ribs on Barrington”.

A Hardon MacKay seen waiting to be served at Bearlys