the problem solver’s problem…

Thanks to :

The Ink Anand Giridharadas Jul 12/21

Introducing my new reality show

“Billionaires Solve Problems the Government Solved a Long Time Ago and Then Explain How Much More Efficient They Are Than Government.”

I have an idea for a reality show. It’s called “Billionaires Solve Problems the Government Solved a Long Time Ago and Then Explain How Much More Efficient They Are Than Government.” I may ask Richard Branson to produce.

In the pilot episode, Elon Musk will “invent” something he calls the Digital Method of Verification. He will pioneer a whole system whereby people can take a driving test and receive a plastic card that I’m told Musk will refer to as a “license” and thus gain permission to drive on public roads.

In the second episode, Jeff Bezos will “innovate” a new kind of bookstore that buys books but then gives them out to people for free, so long as those books are returned. He will fund it with some of the money he doesn’t pay in taxes. He will call it the Lending Interesting Books to Raise Aspirations for Reading Youths, or LIBRARY, program.

In the third episode, Uber will “conceive” of a new system for moving large numbers of people at more affordable prices. It will offer rides in considerably larger vehicles, which, instead of picking you up exactly where you want, will stop at fixed locations around the city at particular times. In a shift, the company will also allow workers to unionize. Customers will recognize large boxy vehicles painted with the words “Bold Universal Solution,” or BUS.

In future episodes, Bill Gates will invent a new kind of school that everyone can go to for free, and Warren Buffett will devise a system whereby young people put money into a program that sends them a steady income when they’re old. Please tune in!

Full disclosure: Court Painter has produced very attractive portraits of the billionaires mentioned in the article in the hope that they will be scooped up at a fair price by the generous and wonderful innovators they all claim to be. Did we mention how attractive the price is with free shipping included and a certificate of authenticity…monthly payment terms can be arranged…

Up Up and away…

For the past few weeks, the preeminent political portraitist of the Great Dominion, Court Painter; complained that his Press Attache AHM was bugging him with this question: “Had he never wanted to be up in space like the space cadets Branson, Bezos & Musk?”

His answer was simple! He bought a hot air ballon with a fully equipped floating studio to capture the grainy visions of UFOs that frequent Calgary skies.

However today was a special day and while painting a grainy UFO above the Bow River, he saw another flying object that looked remarkably like a white jet with Virgin letters on its belly, disturbing the revery of his Up Up and Away Sunday painting mission. “The object moved like a bat out of hell and as rapid as a rattle snake at dawn … unlike any other thing I had ever seen in the air or through a sewer grate. I’ll never forget the set of dentures on the guy staring out the window! Truly an otherworldly sight!”

Talent drain…ing…

The elected component of the Canadian Parliament is the House of Commons Chambre des communes, with each member chosen by a plurality of voters in each of the country’s federal electoral districts, or ridings.

By 2019 approx. one third of the House of Commons seats were held by female members.

Court Painter thought he would paint portraits of talented members who have left for various reasons.


Mary Simon, Indigenous leader, will be Canada’s next governor general

From Nunavik, in northern Quebec, Simon has been an advocate for Inuit rights and culture, and is an Officer of the Order of Canada. She has also worked alongside the federal government on several files over many years, including as an Arctic ambassador. Now, she will take on the role of the Queen’s representative in Canada.

Court Painter with portrait of Mary Simon , Canada’s first indigenous and 30th Governor General

The Rocket Men…

The Rocket Men clutch their phallic trophies after the awards show they sponsored!

It sounds like a dystopian science fiction novel — as climate change cooks oceans and forests , a pandemic endangers billions of people , and world hunger surges , a handful of mega-wealthy men are pumping billions of dollars into their own personal space travel companies. 

But it’s happening right now and David Beasley, the head of the World Food Program, thinks that money could be put to better use. 

In a tweet on June 26, Beasley called on Jeff Bezos, Richard Branson, and Elon Musk to contribute the $6 billion needed to save41 million people in 43 countries who are at risk of starving this year. It might sound like a big ask, but for these billionaires it’s an amount that’s tantamount to pocket change.

You be the judge…

Bezos is worth $192.6 billion, Branson is worth $6.3 billion, and Musk is worth $165.9 billion. Together, that’s $364.8 billion, which could prevent people from starving to death 60 times over, according to Beasley’s estimation.

Court Painter, with as much dignity as he can muster, displays his latest commission.