O’Leary’s Artful Dodger Move!


Court Painter ‘the shining example of how all portrait studios in Canada should be run’, says  Tory leadership candidate Kevin O’Leary

Conservative Party leadership hopeful Kevin O’Leary parties with a private studio reception hosted by Court Painter on March 14, 2017.

Conservative Party leadership candidate and television personality Kevin O’Leary says Court Painter has the “best-managed art studio in the country” and that other studios should learn from what Court Painter has done in the last art fuelled years.

“Court Painter’s is simply a phenom,” O’Leary gushed Tuesday during a private campaign stop at the obscure Inglewood studio of Court Painter.

“Basically, since 2007, stewardship of this wonderful portrait studio is the shining example of how all studios in the Great Dominion should be run: pro-politician, pro-free energy, pro-commissions, pro-celebrity, pro-unlimited capital … We need to make this kind of tonality every art studio’s tonality so this is the example I’m going to be using for what the rest of the Great Dominion’s alpha artist’s has to look like.”

O’Leary has promised, if he becomes prime minister, to cut federal transfers to studios that are not contributing to economic and celebrity growth. He has been vocal in his criticisms of Alberta Premier Rachel Notley and Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne, saying they need to step up to the plate and commission portraits by Court Painter .

In the alley outside the studio, O’Leary posed for photos with local hobby painters and talked to them about his vision for the country. He said he hopes to win the leadership race by engaging Sunday painters in the 18-to-35 demographic and that many of those young paint dabblers are asking him what he will do to improve their chances of landing good commissions and become a celebrity.

O’Leary has promised that, if he becomes Tory leader and eventually prime minister, he will grow the country’s art economy by .0003 per cent minus his fee.

“At .0003 per cent minus my fee, the Great Dominion’s engine of inspiration and innovation works, celebrity culture works, art fairs work, the social dating networks and most importantly the portrait arts work. All the things this lost generation should care about, work at .0003 per cent minus my fee,” he said.

O’Leary is among the frontrunners of the 14 candidates vying for the Conservative Party leadership and stands out from the pack through his visionary support for Court Painter who surprisingly remains unknown to the other uncultured 13 .


1 unable to be explained or accounted for.”for some inexplicable reason CP’s mind went completely blank”
2 synonyms:
unaccountable, unexplainable, incomprehensible, unfathomable, impenetrable, insoluble; baffling, puzzling, perplexing, mystifying, bewildering, confusing; mysterious, strange

Russia Compiles Dossier

Russia Compiles Psychological & Studio Dossier on Court Painter 

MOSCOW — A dossier on Court Painter’s psychological makeup and painting tricks is being prepared for Russian President and avid Sunday painter Vladimir Putin who reportedly is bitter to the core about his treatment by the art world.

Among its preliminary conclusions is that the preeminent portraitist of the Great Dominion is a risk-taker in the studio who can be naïve as well as irascible and dull, according to a senior Kremlin adviser The Femme Agent Nikita.

Court Painter “doesn’t understand fully how much animosity Mr. Putin holds towards celebrity painters and the Western art world— he is a tough guy and is bitter to the core,” The Femme Agent Nikita told NBC News.

The file is being compiled personally by Vladimir Putin, an anonymous retired Art Museum Director for hire from Guelph and The Femme Agent Nikita, sources close to the Kremlin revealed.

The attempt to get inside the Court Painter’s artistic mind is aimed at helping Putin plan for his first official portrait sitting with the Great Dominion portrait leader, the date for which is yet to be decided.

“Very serious preparatory work is going on in the Kremlin, including a dossier — in block letters — describing a psychological portrait of Court Painter, especially based on this last two to three months, and the last weeks,” added The Femme Agent Nikita, who said she has known Court Painter since 2015 when they first met at the Ship & Anchor pub on a Robbie Burns Russian Connection Nite .

“Balderdash,” exclaimed Court Painter with a flourish when queried about this assertion,”the only Russian I know is a hockey guy named Alexander Mikhailovich “Alex” Ovechkin….who Don Cherry hates by the way.” Cherry is also known around the rink to be bitter to the core.

The dossier was being revised regularly, Vladimir said, adding that many in the Kremlin believed that Court Painter viewed his studio practice not only as a leading edge art think tank but also as a not for profit business.

The Femme Agent Nikita added: “Court Painter is not living in a paintbox (chuckling quietly at this allusion)— he is living in a demanding crowd of fans and groupies. He should listen to the art people around him like his chief competitor Chris Cran ( image unavailable) especially in the studio areas where he is weak….canvas stretching, gesso application, choosing the correct frame and most important socially: how to shake hands.”

“Court Painter cannot come to a meeting with Putin as a loser on sales— he must sort out his point of sale problems first before Putin will offer him a studio visit,” The Femme Agent Nikita chimed in delightfully yet ominously!

It is normal for Putin to be fully briefed before entering negotiations for commission fees with a rival painter, but preparing a detailed dossier on the devious mind ,instincts and studio tricks of the Great Dominion portraitist is unusual.

Putin is known by his Sunday painter colleagues as “bitter to the core and seething with envy” about Court Painter’s art success in the Western Hemisphere where Vladimir’s equestrian self portraits have yet to be accepted by any of North America’s ubiquitous agricultural fairs.

Court Painter on the other hand continues to live off the adoration and life style emulation of fans from Waterloo Iowa to Charlottetown PEI.

The End


Toward Elegance

How Court Painter, once an inelegant painter who would ‘never be a pro,’ became the most elegant portraitist in the art game.

When A Hardon MacKay first met Court Painter and became his painting coach ,CP didn’t have hair like Chewbacca or a ZZ Top beard. His skin, which is now covered in nicotine stains, was completely clean of tattoos. However more than 3 years ago, he still had a gold plated grill that sparkled in the sun setting in the west.

Still, as far as first impressions go, A Hardon Mackay, who became Court Painter’s present Press Attache  thinks the 76-year-old looked like a studio hipster chic magnet —  in a retrograde kinda way.

“He wasn’t a very elegant painter,” A Hardon MacKay, a Banff-based celebrity painting skill coach, said of Court Painter. “He was bent over like a fullback of Notre Dame towards the canvas. A lot of people said, ‘he’s a good hustler but he’ll never be a pro painter.’”

Hardon, clearly, did not see the next John Singer Sargent in Court Painter. He didn’t even see someone who could paint backwards well enough to play painterly defence. But over the years, that changed.
Hardon, who has coached a collection of art stars including Chris Cran, Billy McCarroll, Robin Arsenault and Ron Moppett to name a few, has called the Court Painter  one of his greatest students, dull but dedicated. Others might have been more skilled or talented, but what Court Painter lacked in natural grace he made up for with a tireless ambition, a willingness to learn and what Hardon describes as “a zest for life and celebrity.”

“The thing with Court Painter is he was always about frenetic energy,” said Hardon. “I’m not talking about a crazy kid not paying attention. Absolutely not. When he set out to do a painting, he did it the right way and didn’t go halfway. He was all in. I remember saying, it doesn’t matter what he does in art or life, he will be good at it. If he’s a cultural theorist, he’s going to be a five-star general cultural theorist. If he’s a wild flower artist, he will be the president of the wild flower art association. That’s how I felt about Court Painter.”

Court Painter gave himself over whole hog to face painting. And so it’s not entirely surprising that the 76-year-old,  has grown into becoming the best in his world at this portrait position according to a recent communique from his studio.

In terms of artistic production, the communique goes on to say,”more of the best is yet to come sooner if not later if not sooner or later”.

A year ago, Court Painter painted 82 portraits in 50 days. Recently he managed to up the ante, with 83 portraits in 49 days. Presently he has 30 more portraits than Calgary’s Chris Cran machine productions, he has more portraits, than the entire Calgary & Inglewood Face Painters & Figurative Society — combined .

“Do I have an appreciation for a guy who do the stuff that I can’t do? Absolutely,” Chris Cran said of Court Painter at last month’s all-star art star gathering. “To score 20 portraits at the all-star art star break is pretty impressive. So the talent and skill level that it takes is something else. Too bad he can’t monetize like me.”

Talent and skill only get you so far. And while Court Painter might come off a bit careless with his out of studio grooming habits, it might be because he puts so much focus into what he does in the studio. Court Painter has transformed the studio position into a sort of hybrid masterclass. But he’s done it without sacrificing his after hours bar hopping responsibilities where his fan base is mainly situated.

“Right now, he’s the best offensive portraitist in the league of Great Dominion portraitists,” Press Attache A Hardon Mackay said at the art-star drinking fest. “And he’s not giving up his defensive attitude or bitterness towards the art world to do it.”

It’s not just his contour drawing that has improved over the years. But in the last several years, he has shortened the fuse in the studio— “He gets that smile off so quickly,”— to the point where his unpaid studio interns barely have any time to react to the glare of his grill.

“You look at Court Painter and he’s throwing knuckleballs of paint at the canvas and he scores, because critics can’t block them and they get through the traffic of criticism. He’s a master at that.”

The secret behind that quick release in the studio is a drill that A Hardon MacKay came up with that helped Court Painter with catching and releasing gobs of paint off a warped palette. At first, Hardon banked paint gobs off a wooden board, changing the angles to keep Court Painter off guard. Then he swapped the wood for a piece of Plexiglas, because the paint bounced off it faster.

Hardon said Court Painter loved the drill, repeating it until from fatigue,  his brush “would fall from his gnarled fist in a motion so slow it caused pain to witness.”

“Portrait painters never get a perfect load of paint,” said Hardon. “It forces the painter to make body adjustments. You’ll be loading your brush off balance and not in the most comfortable position. It’s a challenge to get it off as quickly as possible on to the canvas.”

A couple of years ago, Court Painter told Hardon that he wanted the brush loading to be even faster, more unpredictable. So Hardon found a thick strip of rubber — “like the kind that ships bump into so they don’t get damaged coming into port,” he said without explaining— ‘that it replicated brush strokes that bounced off the canvas.”

“It’s interesting how he evolved that,” Hardon said of Court Painters’ attacks on the canvas. “Imagine the smarts behind that, because it’s not about the power as much as it is about placement of the brush and quick release. He’s taking the paint quickly. That’s years and years of work. A lot of painters would say, ‘Why do I do this? That never came out of Court Painter’s mouth at all.

He does retain a reputation for having a potty mouth however his celebrity is not built on words or guttural phrasing but pictures painted for the Great Dominion’s pictorial posterity and Court Painter’s prestigious prosperity !