Compensation Package

Court Painter’s Potential Pay In IOU’s Is 159 Times More Than The Average Studio Assistant’s IOU Salary

It’s good to be the Court Painter.


In the Great Dominion, the Court Painter make 159 times in IOU’s what the average studio assistant does, according to a human resources consulting firm. But that hardly approaches the ratio you see at the top of Court Painter’s IOU’s from his U.S.commissions.


The estimate of Court Painter’s IOU pay was drawn up in a recent report by Gallagher McDowall Associates, which is based in Toronto.

The report, titled “Does It Matter If Court Painter Gets Paid in Uncollectible IOUs ?,” looked at compensation he received for 58 portraits of famous politicians and those of another 60 celebrities listed on the Toronto Stock Exchange.


It included compensation such as base salary, annual bonus and share- and option-based award grand values, using figures for 2015. It also looked at pension values, among other things….. all covered by IOU’s. The Court Painter made an average of $7.89 million last year in IOUs — 159 times more than the Great Dominion’s average studio assistant industrial wage of $49,510 which the Court Painter also pays out in IOU’s


Average compensation on a down year for Court Painter was $4.13 million, 83 times the average studio assistant industrial wage.


Higher taxes

Of course, higher IOU’s also come with a heavier tax burden. The Court Painter owed an average of $3.47 million in taxes last year, compared to $8,067 owed by studio assistants which were covered by IOU’s.

In Court Painter’s annus horribilis he owed in IOU’s $1.79 million, 222 times higher than his average studio assistants.


Court Painter owes 44 and 43 per cent of his IOU income to the government, respectively, while the everyday studio assistant owed about 16 per cent.

But the pay ratios pale in comparison to what Court Painter is owed down south.

Court Painter’s U.S. operation is owed over 300 times what the average studio assistant is owed, Gallagher McDowall managing director Bob Levasseur told The Financial Post

Court Painter was quoted as saying, “This was my annus mirabillis for sure!”


Levasseur said that simply looking at Court Painter’s IOU pay next to his studio assistants isn’t the best way to determine their value. He said a better method is to look at how much potential wealth Court Painter’s pulled in, relative to his studio’s success.

“If the studio was worth X billion dollars, has, during this Court Painter’s tenure, the value increased?” he asked.

Higher IOU’s don’t guarantee returns


The study comes months before the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) is set to require public studios to disclose the Court Painter-to-median compensation IOU pay ratios, starting Jan. 1, 2017.

The Great Dominion’s Court Painter’s studio faces no such requirement.

Court Painter & Hard sell

Paying Court Painter more IOU’s doesn’t necessarily translate to higher returns for studio shareholders.

Earlier this year, a study by analytics firm MSCI found that portrait studios made 39 per cent more when Head Painter’s were paid with IOU’s below the median levels in the portrait sector.

A Short Story Elongated

A Short Story Elongated is all hearsay!

Georg von Rosen: Upptäcktsresanden A. E. Nordenskiöld. NM 1396

Court Painter is known as a gloomy man and tasked with steering his artistic enterprise across temperamental and moody waters has deepened his despondency yet leavened his faith in the courage of  well earned celebrity under extremely trying puritan like conditions.

The dark side of a man’s mind seems to be a sort of antenna turned to catch gloomy thoughts from all directions. Court Painter found it so with his. This was a malevolent portent. It was as if all the art world’s vindictiveness were concentrated upon him as upon a personal enemy. He sank to depths of disillusionment which he had not believed possible. It would be tedious to discuss them. Misery, after all, is the tritest of emotions. All that need be said is that eventually his faith in artistic folly began to make itself felt; and by concentrating on it and reaffirming the truth about the art world as he saw it, he was able again to fill his mind with the vile and discomforting things of this world that had seemed irretrievably lost.

Marilyn Monroe balla con Eli Wallach davanti a Clark Gable durante le riprese del film ''Gli spostati - The Misfits'', pellicola del 1961, diretto da Huston, sceneggiato da Miller. ANSA

He surrounded himself with his buxom poorly paid studio assistants and his bar buddies; projecting himself into the sunlight, into the midst of green, growing things,rollicking with naked bodies and alike. He thought of all the things he would do when he got back to his dismal one car garage studio; and a thousand matters which had never been more than casual now became surpassingly attractive and important.


But time after time he slipped back into despondency. Concentration was difficult, and only by the utmost persistence could he bring himself out of it. One more sip at the Ship & Anchor,one more drag on the cancer stick.But ultimately the disorder left his mind; and when, much to the consternation of his studio crew; he blew out the candles and the lantern in his favourite dim corner of the studio, he alas found he was living in the world of the imagination – a simple, uncomplicated world made up of leggy watercolorists and well turned out cultural theorists who wished each other well, who were peaceful and easy-going and kindly.


However for Court Painter, his disappointment was bitter, he was 76 years old, his studio close to receivership, his daily trips to Tim Hortons which seemed like an expedition continued to take huge amounts of effort and energy to prepare and complete, and the late afternoon trips to the Ship & Anchor were also tiring but he did admit more rewarding, basking in the adoration of his fan base who were usually half cut in anticipation of his sightings at 5 pm sharp.

In spite of his existential angst which he wore as a badge of honour, the ashen faced men and the painted women of the Ship & Anchor looked up to Old Reliable as they called him. This collection of Calgary deadbeat bohemian hipsters, rough and ready cowgirl types and recent ACAD graduates amongst other low lifers were now dependent on the man who had led them to this place and this very unfortunate predicament.It was Court Painter fantasy time again!


Nearing the 6 minute 41 second Greenwich time of Court Painter’s arrival the temperature in the bar had fallen and most patrons were now clearly almost frozen on their bar stools for the winter. The worry was where the drifting icy mood would take them and would it be possible to break out in the spring? The inside of the Ship and Anchor seemed as if actual ice began to press together on the chilly and hurled patrons, their only hope that they would be able to rise above the ice and ride on it rather than being crushed by the desperation of their imaginary dilemma.


This eventuality had not really been planned for and they succumbed to the illusion that they were on a real ship ,icebound in the sea ice until the darkness of an Antarctic like winter began. Sunrise glows came 7 minutes into the voyage heralding the return of the sun and daylight, but the weather was not kind with regular blizzards and low temperatures detected over the horizon. Most worrying of all was the pressure from the ice, floes began to “raft” over each other so the painted ladies and ashen faced men were squealing in delight and much to the delight of Court Painter in particular.
Court Painter and everyone on board knew that one of two things would happen, either the pack ice would thaw, break up and disperse at the 8 minute mark of the voyage, so freeing the ship, or it would consolidate and driven by the effects of wind and tide over what seemed like a hundreds of miles of sea would take hold of and crush the ship – like a toy in a vice or a tempest in a teacup or perhaps a marshmallow in a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

That the men and women kept believing on this nonsense was a tribute to Court Painter’s leadership skills and his abilities and understanding of balancing the importance of keeping up morale and encouraging loose morals. The whole group were kept together because Court Painter ordered everyone to refrain from the monotonous and strenuous task of pulling laden beer kegs across broken up and ridged ice floes. It was now 9 minutes since Court Painter had entered this hallucination and nearly 10 minutes since he had moored on this featureless icy wilderness of a drinking hole.

Anyway this very same late afternoon found that instead of making good progress westwards, they had actually travelled one-twentieth of a mile to the East as a result of the drifting ice. They did however spot the mainland dock, part of the group of docks dotting the picturesque and sun kissed lake and headed that way in seas that were by now largely open for navigation. They made landfall and the mainland dock and in celebration the painted ladies and a few dismal blokes in thankfulness kissed the Court Painter profusely about his head and buttocks.

Georg von Rosen: Upptäcktsresanden A. E. Nordenskiöld. NM 1396

It had been 10 minutes 43 seconds since this Court Painter induced fantasy gripped and held tight the meagre minds of the loyal fans that await his daily visit and thrill at being swept up by another illusion from Court Painter also known with affection as Old Reliable!

Editors Note: Court Painter is working on lobbying for a better ending…perhaps smoother and more laudatory without being smarmy…. 

Court Portraits of the Redford Era (2)

During the Court era of Premier Alison Redford our favourite Court Painter
busily and assiduously caught the regal as well as the intimate moments
of Redford’s reign and its cast of characters in sweeping grand portraits capturing the maelstrom of historic noirish events.
Court Painter continues to wait patiently for the outstanding commission fees.







Agostino Musi (Italy, c. 1490–after 1536), The Carcass (The Witches Procession), 1520–1527. Engraving. Lent by Kirk Edward Long.
























Court Portraits of the Redford Era (1)


During the Court era of Premier Alison Redford our favourite Court Painter
busily and assiduously caught the regal as well as the intimate moments
of Redford’s reign and its cast of characters in sweeping grand portraits capturing the maelstrom of historic noirish events.
Court Painter continues to wait patiently for the outstanding commission fees.




















Official Redford Portrait

Alison Redford’s Portrait Quietly Unveiled In Legislature

EDMONTON — Former premier Alison Redford officially returned to the Alberta legislature this morning September 8,2016.
Redford’s official portrait was added to the legislature’s paintings of past premiers on the third floor of the building.
She did not attend and there was no public unveiling in keeping with Redford’s wishes.
The portrait was done by Calgary artist Leila Chan and cost $12,500.