Just When You Thought The News Couldn’t Get Worse

Woman Nonchalantly Steals Painting from Court Painter Studio in Broad Daylight

Court Painter during the good times in the studio

The studio’s 1990’s Sony Handicam  captured the brazen heist, which took place at a temporary studio exhibition that had no alarms fitted. Art authorities say they have arrested the (age withheld) suspect and recovered the undamaged artwork, which, after a tip-off to police, was found hidden in a dumpster in the heart of downtown Inglewood. In an interview with art detectives, the suspect reportedly claimed she was innocent and said she could not remember where she had been on Sunday,since her workplace The French Maid is closed on Sundays.

Court Painter tearfully forgiving Missy for her misdeed

Angry Albertan angrily stabs “Justin the Terrible” painting

The incident is only the latest embarrassing lapse in security at Court Painter’s studio, which was founded in 2013 and houses more than 1,300 works of unpaid commissions. In May, an angry drunken Albertan vandalized a painting of “Justin the Terrible” by stabbing at it with his umbrella,screaming in a kinda sing songey manner …no no no we no want no no no carbon carbon carbon  tax. All those within ear shot thought it was a frightfully poor rendition but heartfelt.

Court Painter wistfully wondering what it’s all about

Both crimes raise questions about security in Court Painter’s studio which has continually complained of security shortages since budget cutbacks in 2015. On Monday, the newly appointed Heritage Minister ,who oversees the Great Dominion’s cultural affairs, ordered the ministry of culture to investigate the studio for security compliance and provide unpaid studio interns and layabouts with extra judo chop & tackle training and free access to Youtube videos on “How to Spot An Art Thief.”