Blank canvas staring

How blank canvas staring affects Court Painter and other artist’s brains

Court Painter averages 3.6 hours a day staring at blank canvas 

Always the exception, artists like CC (name available upon request) spends less than one hour a day in his studio staring at a blank canvas and did better on not retaining memory of the old days, not thinking of lost sales , nor scoring high on filthy language tests.

Court Painter on the other hand stares daily at a blank canvas for hours and scores off the charts,  a recent study finds.

CC(name available upon request) seen smirking at Court Painter’s blank canvas staring 

Like Court Painter , nearly two out of three local painters spend more than three hours a day staring at blank canvases, a new analysis of studio activity levels finds. And those artists outperform on memories of past glory, off colour language and thinking of lost sales than artists who spend less time in front of a blank canvas, (ex: CC (name available upon request) the study of a whole bunch of painterly type artists showed.

The finding, published in flyer form by the Court Painter Studio Enterprise,bolsters concerns that heavy use of staring at blank canvases or clay tablets, should one be so lucky, can hurt growing minds. But because the study captures a single snapshot in time, it’s still not known whether too much blank staring can actually harm artistic brain development, unidentified experts caution.

Researchers used data gleaned from local artist surveys on daily staring at blank canvas time, eye rolling exercise and nocturnal prowling activities, collected as part of a larger effort called the Artist Blank Brain Cognitive Development Study. Humming abilities were also tested in that bigger study but tended to skew the desired results. As a benchmark for the new study, the researchers used expert guidelines set the day before yesterday that recommend no more than one hour of blank staring time a day, a half hour of eye rolling exercise and a quarter hour of nighttime prowling.

Overall, the results are concerning, says study coauthor and Press Attache A Hardon MacKay, an eye rolling exercise denier who at the time of the release of the study was napping in the studio. Only 5 percent of the artists met all three guidelines on blank staring time, eye rolling exercise time and nocturnal hi jinks duration, the survey revealed. Twenty-nine percent of the artists didn’t meet any of the guidelines, meaning that “who knows how much nocturnal carousing they are getting, they’re likely not blank staring for longer than two hours and they’re not eye rolling as they should,” AHM says. “This raises a flag that must be saluted.”

The study can’t say whether blank canvas staring time — or the resulting absence of other activity — lowered thinking about lost sales with artists. “You don’t know which is the BBQ chicken and which is the scrambled egg here,” cautions AHM. “It could be that smarter painters are less likely to spend lots of time blankly stating at blank canvases,” he said tentatively with an abundance of caution.

Editors Note:At this point the reader can be excused for thinking that the logic of this study and the accompanying narrative are less than credible…..thats what happens with trying to dumb down and popularize esoteric science.

Looking for clear-cut blame is a bit of a “red white blue or pink herring,” AHM said colourfully. Simple cause-and-effect relationships often don’t exist in artist behaviour and  development.

Instead of blanket pronouncements, “we need to tailor what we learn from our gut to apply to individual artists.We don’t know a lot yet about how these studio behaviours interact with one another to influence artist’s’ public relations  development,” AHM said, emphasizing the word gut while pointing at his midriff.

mid·riff
/ˈmidˌrif/
noun
  1. the region of the front of the body between the chest and the waist.
    synonyms: stomach, belly, midsection, waist, middle, abdomen, tummy

    “exercises designed to tighten your flabby midriff”