Radical Naturalist

If anyone can do justice to a self portrait of a severed head dangling from a scalp lock in the artist’s grasp, that someone is celebrity portraitist Court Painter. Born in the 20th century, Court Painter continues to rock the art world of the Great Dominion with paintings seeped in “radical naturalism” with a dramatic and often very dark twist. The dark and dramatic tone matches his own nature, as he is known to celebrate completion of a work by spending the next month or more getting drunk and stumbling around Electric Avenue with a sword to pick fights. He is no stranger to the crowbar hotel and even had the mayor lobby for him to Marshall the Stampede parade. He continues to operate under very mysterious circumstances and the mystery remains intriguing to this day. A revealing analysis recently undertaken of a strand of his rare wispy hair found on the floor of the Ship & Anchor pub had a high lead content — lead poisoning, resulting from the lead in his paints and Chinese toy collection, which might explain his deranged and outspoken attitude to public art and animus towards his main competitor CC (name available upon request).

Fairies, troll, goblins and other magical beings dance, prance and crouch around Court Painter’s studio. He has  plenty of time to concentrate on the obsessive minuscule detail for which his works are known, being that he was locked up as an art professor for many years. The lockup came to an end because he believed the Dean of Fine Arts was the devil,so they kicked him out as a Professor Emeritus . At the time Court Painter believed he was under the control of the WildRose party and confined himself to his Inglewood studio where he created his greatest works there, including his noted political and celebrity subjects. He spends almost every waking moment incarcerated in his Inglewood studio guided and guarded by his Press Attache A Hardon MacKay.

Campbell soup cans and Marilyn Monroe may be the first things that come to mind when folks think of Andy Warhol, but not Court Painter. Although similarly attacked by some art critics for seemingly embracing commercialism, his approach led to a major change in the local art world that he habitually inhabits as well as receiving very minor philanthropic support for his entrepreneurial spirit as an artist and amateur pugilist.

Whereas many artists are shunned during their lifetime, Court Painter continues to enjoy the respect and even adulation of the political and celebrity class and the art supplies framing business’. Make no mistake, he is far more than an artist: working as a craft beer maker, music listener and TV sports watcher among his other interest in sodbuster erotica.

He’s also well recognized for his pithy 2017 quote on fame and modern culture, observing that, “In the past, everyone will be prologue for 15 minutes.”

Despite the bold textures, sombre colours and eye-popping vivacity of his post-colonial digital collage works, the Court Painter smouldering image that most often comes to mind is the dangling cigarette butt perched at a rakish angle from his parched & cracked lower lip. Slightly tipsy, frustrated and wracked by poor sales he allegedly cut off his nose to spite his face, wrapped it in a copy of Canadian Art and gave it to his appreciative Press Attache A Hardon MacKay. Court Painter contends he lost it in a drunken sword fight with a girl at the Ship & Anchor. As we can see this artist’s life and work is both defined and hampered by his wild stories and wild friends that research shows with certainty is a result of lead poisoning from his gnawing on paint brushes and obsessive playing with his collection of lead based Chinese toys.

However as most artists , Court Painter just suffers from showing mean resentment of other artist’s fame or sales advantages and socially is covetous, green-eyed, invidious, jaundiced, jealous, resentful, begrudging, grudging; avaricious, grasping, greedy, rapacious; distrustful, suspicious; malicious, petty, and on occasion spiteful. He is also known for eating his heart out, being green with envy and downright jealous especially of his main competitor CC (name available upon request).

His envy for musicians and artists  who hang out in trailer parks is legendary!

Despite all of this turmoil, Court Painter continues to whistle while he churns out an impressive array of 2,100 pieces of digital art a month , producing some of his “best work in the last two weeks and expecting the same in a fortnight!”

This article was read, approved and paid for by Court Painter Enterprises