Max’s Fishing Advice

People’s Party of Canada Leader Maxime Bernier in a recent rally in Halifax “wants to make Canada great again,” and says he plans to do it through sweeping cuts that would return money to the pockets of taxpayers

Calling them cost-saving, the measures include cuts to the CBC, Canada Post and foreign aid to Africa, Bernier told a Halifax audience on Friday evening

“These countries are poor because they have socialist systems, they don’t have more free market systems,” he said at the rally to vast applause, which drew a crowd of nearly 300 people from across Nova Scotia.

“The best way to do it, like I said, is not to give them a fish, but to teach them how to fish.”

Training Film

The multi talented Court Painter has been commissioned by a top secret entity to produce a training film. It is an educational film  –a short documentary that provides an introduction to a top secret topic . It uses narrative documentary and dramatization styles in the production. While most educational films are made to be used in teaching painting, pottery and plagiarism, this training film is made to be used by the leadership of a country in search of  a military solution for a problem that it will will into existence.

Court Painter hopes that over time this training film will take on a camp appeal.

 

Knock Off Market

The Court Painter Knock Off Index Transforms the Art Market

In 2016, Press Attache A Hardon MacKay was tasked with leading  a collaboration between  himself and Court Painter. The project galvanized the hair brained idea of Court Painter Knock Off art as an investment asset.

‘Court Painter Knock Off’s  have proved to be the best investment in the tony Inglewood neighbourhood , better than the majority of stocks and shares in Blockbuster or K Mart the last two years.’

This was the confident declaration of Press Attache A Hardon MacKay, the go to marketing guy for Court Painter  during his recent appearance at the Ship & Anchor Pub’s   WTF’s The Idea open mike night. Though he was only five years into his Press Attacheship, AHM had already overhauled the fusty image of the Court Painter art trade. His ingenious pre-sale marketing efforts, local celebrity invitations featuring power couples, and loss leader sales had transformed Court Painter auctions into major news affairs faithfully covered by Rick Dinger Bell, and deepened the perception of artist nemesis CC ( name available upon request) as an antiquated rival.

Reacting shrewdly to the post-modernist wave of prosperity, AHM was determined to bring newly moneyed buyers into the fold. He sought to convince cowboy hat & belt buckle salesfolks and struggling oil executives that collecting was no longer the exclusive preserve of cultured, old-money dynasties such as Irving, McCain,and Thomson. Crucially, AHM wanted to instil the notion that Court Painter Knock Offs can be an investment. The sudden and precipitous rise of the Court Painter Knock Off art market surprised even AHM,a seasoned marketer who is no stranger to markets of the flea and farmers variety.

AHM’s idea for Court Painter Knock Offs just needed to be packaged and branded in an immediate and compelling fashion that millennials would swallow hook line & sinker.

Printed & posted on the studio door and local bulletin boards the Court Painter Knock Off Index purported to chart the changing prices sold at auction and online.

The first index, published on Robbie Burns Day 2016, included five prominent graphs dedicated to Court Painter Knock Offs in Impressionist and contemporary styles. The charted prices paid for the Court Painter Knock Off’s of  Renoir (“up 405%”), Fantin-Latour (“up 780%”), Monet (“up 1,100%”),Kinkade (“up 1845%”)and Keane (up 2400%).Another graph includes three indices, the value of these Knock Off  paintings, US share prices, and UK share prices — the former vastly outpacing the latter. The message was clear: Court Painter Knock Off Art is a hot commodity, and its sale value can and should be conceived in much the same way as a stock on the Dow Jones, Hong Kong’s Hang Seng or the Shanghai Composite.

I think you get the idea …. BUY!!!!

Find A Way To Get Along

Stephen Harper says ‘a smart Canadian PM’ finds a way to get along with Court Painter

CP & portrait of former PM

Former prime minister Stephen Harper says Canadian leaders have to find a way to get along with the irascible Court Painter because of Canada’s “overwhelming” cultural dependence on the quality of ‘soul capturing’ political & celebrity portraits masterfully rendered by the preeminent portraitist of the Great Dominion.

CP & AHM strain to install group portrait 

Harper made his remarks during a panel session with former British prime minister Tony Bubbly Blair at the Raisina Dialogue, a geopolitical summit held in New Delhi and sponsored by the Indian government, on Tuesday.

“Often, I would go to Calgary on the business of avoiding my constituents however Court Painter was always on a list of people that I was sure to meet and meet we did, often for a new portrait sitting ,” Harper said when asked about his impressions of Court Painter. “ I know Court Painter well and many of the people around him, like his pushy Press Attache A Hardon MacKay . I think I’ve got a pretty good picture of CP’s pulchritudinous pictorial peccadilloes if you get my drift.”

CP & AHM hold earlier commission of former PM

Without mentioning Prime Minister Justin Trudeau by name instead mimicking how he breathlessly talks, Harper said he believes it’s important that “a smart Canadian prime minister” gets a few things right when dealing with the painter who has undue influence in the celebrity and political realms beyond his years.

PM Trudeau with sculpture by unknown angry Alberta artist

CP & friends at all night movie night costume party

“First of all, a PM establishes — to the best of his ability — a good personal relationship with Court Painter, regardless of that portraitist’s abrasive personality and  non stop party till you drop lifestyle,” said Harper.

2 local artists lovingly handle CP self portraits

“Secondly, a smart prime minister of Canada — because we can often be off the radar in Court Painter’s Inglewood studio — goes out of his way to show when we are onside with the him against his artistic nemesis CC (name available upon request)and  how we can be a useful partner in furthering the Court Painter’s potential global participation in international Biennales because that’s ultimately in our interests.

CP & CC (name available upon request)in rare photo

“If you do those two things correctly, that is the basis on which you can then respectfully disagree when you need to and believe me disagreement with Court Painter is inevitable because as Ezra has pointed out he is a pinko post modern perfectionist,a know it all and an analog nerd.”

Ezra & former PM in strategy session

 

TV Guide

TV critics and VP clapper seen paying rapt attention as a phantom VP clapper claps stage left

Rebuttal team patiently wait for 8 minutes to be up as VP continues his clapping fit!

Court Painter relaxes in his studio at the Northern border