UPDATE: His Middle Name Is Bruce

Doug Ford named new Ontario PC leader after chaotic convention day

Doug Bruce Ford reportedly became an "ethical vegetarian" after working in a meatpacking plant as a teenager and while this is no longer the case, he still doesn't eat red meat.
Court Painter found this insight on the internet.

Doug Bruce Ford (the one on the right) is 1 of 4 running for the leadership of the Progressive Conservative Party of Ontario.The other 3 names don't really matter.


Danseur – a male dancer in a ballet company.


Taking a break from behind the easel Court Painter often puts on his tan silk ballet slippers to skip the light fandango and occasionally turn cartwheels cross the floor.

There’s plenty of visual whimsy in the early 21-century dance setting – Court Painter renders a gorgeous figure in flowing gossamer  while enthusiastic dance sequences and comic beats balance out melodrama. Even if he never quite takes the risks implied by its exclamatory title … “Leapin Lizards!” he follows the established steps with general grace and good humour  At one point, Court Painter has “the energy of a bullet” but no technique or focus; the same can be said for the entire performance. The leapin’ sequences remain curiously earthbound, untethered from physical reality that can’t compete with the dazzling, gravity-defying dance-offs often seen in line dancing or the Highland Fling. The profound weaknesses of the performance are manifested in Court Painter’s movements that don’t evoke the grace of classical dance and, on the other hand, evidence the limitations of a master painter turned modernish dancer. The out of control yet soaring dance choreography may not satisfy purists, but presents a joyously liberating take on The Dying Swan that is sure to thrill youngsters.

The murmured question lingering from Court Painter’s leap into a new art form: was he attempting a Grande Jeté, a Plié ,a Turn-out,a Pirouette or as many remarked in admiration, a Tour en l’air !

Yesterday’s Man Today

In Court Painter World, every day is the day before yesterday


When it comes to Court Painter — and his trickle-down moods that drive his studio and Calgary art politics — February 2018 is no different than February 2017: he’s still stuck on the exact same internal fights about his reputation, the same complaints about his studio staff, the same obsessive gripes about media coverage and the simmering feud with his nemesis ; artist CC (name available upon request).

The big picture: The episodic drama is almost impossible to cover accurately, because the views reflected in the art press and gossip mill often depend partly on which characters in the drama are most aggrieved at the moment, and which faction they belong to. Remember that Court Painter thinks of each day as a new episode in a sprawling masterpiece, with him as the star painter, master visionary, chic magnet and critic all rolled into one.
 chic magnet
Here's a perfect example: Studio aides privately admit they have no earthly idea what Court Painter will paint next — whether it be dead vegetation, flashy fashion models, pontificating politicians or washed up celebrity personages .

However the most importantly question is the fate of his Press Attache A Hardon MacKay.

Some of his staff are convinced the Press Attache is on thin ice. A source close to Court Painter let it be known: “Court Painter is displeased — with a capital D — with how his studio is functioning right now."
  • But here's a scoop: Missy Mayhem (rumoured to be AHM's main squeeze) genuinely supports AHM and for now,likes him a lot and mistakenly thinks he's a pro. AHM has been wise to cultivate her and to make sure he includes her in locker room talk with his buddies and factors her schedule into media events where eye candy is desperately needed.
So will AHM go? Sure — sometime. But the apparent imminence of his departure depends completely on which part of the studio cast you're consulting, and what Court Painter's whim was in his most recent conversations at the Ship & Anchor pub.
  • Court Painter is reportedly asking people's opinions about AHM, and about possible successors
  • Court Painter is privately asking bar buddies and studio staff about AHM: “What’s up with this guy? He can’t get along with anybody?”
  • Court Painter was stomping around the studio last weekend, informally polling his overworked studio crew on AHM. He’d got it in his head that nobody in the studio liked him. But he’s heard some more positive opinions about AHM in the past few days, including from Missy Mayhem.
  • One thing is certain: The mystique that initially surrounded AHM has worn off.
  • Court Painter would love nothing more than if a prospect for Press Attache like A Girl Named Robin would beg for the job. That would make it easier to transition — he could say “make it happen,” hire her on his terms and outsource the removal of AHM. But she won’t beg because she's too big for her britches. So it’s a standoff with no obvious end in sight.
  • We have no idea who’d replace AHM. And from what we can tell, AHM hasn’t done a ton of succession planning. Some studio aides feel the place is unraveling, that they can't trust truth & beauty anymore, that they don't know what's going on, that there's no path upward to inclusion in one of the dozens of Biennials or a short review in Canadian Art.But you know what? That was as true in February 2017 as in 2018 and in the frenzied weeks after the day before yesterday or in the day after tomorrow.However in Court Painter's world, every day is the day before yesterday.

Ideas Shortage

Court Painter Ideas Shortage Forces Shutdown Of Studio

The CP Studio blames it on “teething problems” with the delayed delivery of art algorithm generator.

The closed Court Painter studio in Inglewood, Alberta

 The fast art outlet has been forced to close  after a delayed new art algorithm generator resulted in Court Painter portrait shortages across the prariees and  France.

Court Painter fans were in a flutter Monday after the Court Painter outlet Alberta  and St Pierre & Miquelon were forced to close because of a shortage of ideas.

A Hardon MacKay the studio Press Attache and apologist , blamed “teething problems” with the delay of the delivery of the new art algorithm generator crucial to feeding the Court Painter with fresh ideas.


The CP Studio first apologized for the problems on Saturday. In an update Monday,the ever tempermental Court Painter indicated the Inglewood studio would fully open “when he damn well pleases,” but did not say when the French studio might do likewise.


Prees Attache AHM said the studios that both studios would remain operating with shortened hours on a limited menu of minatures and fridge magnets.


“We know that this might have inconvenienced some of you over the last few days, and disappointed you when you wanted your portrait fix — we’re sorta sorry about that….this disruption in our supply chain we take very seriously ,” Court Painter explained in a serious yet strident statement.

 When the Court Painter announced in October that he  “promised to re-write the art rule book and set a new studio benchmark for delivering fresh portrait ideas via the algorithm generator in a sustainable way,” little did he realize that sometimes deliverology shit happens.

Crystal Blue Persuasion

Look over yonder
What do you see?
The sun is a’rising
Most definitely
A new day is coming, ooh, ooh
People are changing
Ain’t it beautiful, ooh, ooh
Crystal blue persuasion
Better get ready to see the light
Love, love is the answer, ooh, ooh
And that’s all right
So don’t you give up now, ooh, ooh
So easy to find
Just look to your soul
And open your mind
Crystal blue persuasion, mmm, mmm

It’s a new vibration
Crystal blue persuasion

Crystal, blue persuasion
Maybe tomorrow
When he looks down
On every green field, ooh, ooh
And every town
All of his children
And every nation
They’ll be peace and good brotherhood
Crystal blue persuasion, yeah

Crystal blue persuasion, aha

Crystal blue persuasion, aha

Crystal blue persuasion, aha
Songwriters: Eddie Morley Gray / Mike Vale / Tommy James
Crystal Blue Persuasion lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC