Belies Belief

Scientists discover Court Painter’s brain neural switch for becoming an alpha male

photo:  self explanatory

Court Painter turns bold after his ‘alpha’ circuit is stimulated as results show ‘winner effect’ lingers on much to the dismay of those who are forced to interact with him socially or in the studio.

photo: Court Painter with unidentified admirer
Latest research has pinpointed brain circuit responsible for Court Painter’s aggressive and dominating behaviour in the studio and on the art circuit.

photo: Court Painter & CC (name available upon request) in consultation.

Brash, brawny and keen to impose his will on anyone who enters his studio sphere of existence: the alpha male Court Painter in action is unmistakable.

photo: Court Painter and Press Attache deliver painting to Heritage Minister Joly 

Now scientists claim to have pinpointed the biological root of his domineering behaviour. New research has located a brain circuit that, when activated , transformed a once timid portraitist into bold alpha action painter that almost always prevails in aggressive social encounters i.e.: at art openings pushing to the head of the wine & free snacks line .

The brain region, called the dorsal medial prefrontal cortex (dmPFC), was already known to light up during social interactions involving decisions about whether to be assertive or submissive with others. But brain imaging alone could not determine whether the circuit was ultimately controlling how Court Painter behaves.

photo: anonymous dance party

Court Painter generally organizes his studio with stable social hierarchies that minimize conflict between his unpaid studio interns. However, just for laffs he sometimes will pitch studio interns of different rank against each other in a range of tests to assess dominance.

In one, pairs of studio interns engaged in a head-to-head chess match. In the video that Press Attache A Hardon MacKay recorded, one subordinate intern is seen putting up only light resistance, but when the “alpha” circuit is stimulated by copying Court Painter’s aggressive behaviour, the intern adopts a rugby-style drive, propelling the opponent away from the chess board. With brain stimulation, low ranking interns won 90% of the time against collegues they would normally have lost to.

photos: actors demonstrating chess games

The experience of winning appears to always leave an imprint on Court Painter, making him more assertive, even when his brains’ on cruise control. He is found to be more combative after completing a painting by noon and moves on to a fencing match with a girly girl.

Court Painter brags that this is the “winner effect”, hinting that there is more than a grain of truth in the self-help mantra “fake it ‘til you make it”.

photo: Court Painter is seen with another winner’s circle artist CC (name available upon request)

The findings, researchers suggest, could have applications in understanding a variety of psychiatric conditions where artists exhibit overly dominant behaviours however lack motivation to read up on the latest discussion about the death of painting.



Art Lie

Trump Continues to Lie About His Fake Court Painter Portrait

One of the lies President Trump likes to tell is that his Court Painter portrait is real, but it turns out that it is likely a fake reproduction downloaded from the internet.

Since December 2017 Court Painter’s painting, “Twitter Storm Trooper” has hung behind the entrance door in Court Painter’s Inglewood studio,which has been used to keep out the cold bitter drafts of the Western winter. But is it a fake? Or did Court Painter paint more than one version? In Donald Trump’s mystifying mind, one of these scenarios is true. Along with giving to charity, drawing large crowds, and having a lot of great plans, Trump has reportedly also bragged about owning the original “Twitter Storm Trooper.” And like many of his boasts, it’s one he seems to like to bring up whenever he gets the chance.

This clear lie comes to light in a recent episode in which Press Attache A Hardon  MacKay shares an anecdote from a few weeks ago, when serving  Trump an invoice for previous portraits painted. The pair was riding in Trump’s private jet, where a copy of the famous Court Painter portrait was hanging, and the men ended up arguing over whether or not it was original.

“Donald, it’s not,” AHM insisted, multiple times. “I’m in Court Painter’s studio every second day, that portrait “Twitter Storm Trooper” is hanging on a wall behind the door of his studio keeping out the drafts of the bitter western winter zephyrs.”

After some back-and-forth with the real estate mogul, AHM chose to drop the conversation and carry on with more important business like getting paid for previous commissions. Trump, however, being Trump, did not give up. The next day, back on the plane with Press Attache AHM he gestured at the painting and said, “You know, that’s an original Court Painter portrait of me” AHM decided to not engage.

The disputed portrait eventually found a home at Trump Tower in New York after Trump sold his jet for, of course, a bigger one. Cameras almost caught a glimpse of it during an interview Trump gave recently with AHM.The absence of colour adds a hint of softness to an otherwise gold-gilded and marble-clad private TV studio.You’ll have take our word for it!  (photo unavailable)

“I’m sure he’s still telling people who come into the apartment, ‘It’s an original, it’s an original,’” Press Attache AHM told Vanity Fair on a podcast. “He believes his own lies in a way that lasts for decades. He’ll tell the same stories of portrait sittings time and time again, regardless of whether or not facts are right in front of his face.Everyone knows!”

And the facts really would be in front of his face if the President visited the Court Painter studio in tony Inglewood. The Chicago Tribune even reached out to Court Painter to clarify that he owns the genuine portrait— because we’re in an age where we have to go there — and Press Attache AHM noted that the studio is “satisfied that our version is real.” Court Painter has owned the painting since December of 2017 when he completed by hand this bold artistic statement.

The White House did not respond to the Tribune‘s questions about the provenance of Trump’s “Twitter Storm Trooper” reproduction which Court Painter swears Trump downloaded off the internet. Press Attache A Hardon MacKay agreed but reminded Court Painter that he was the official spokesperson and any statements should be cleared with him before issuing unguarded statements to the press.



CC’s Vision

“I got up at 11, my usual waking time, and I saw that very same thing out my window, exact same lighting and everything.”

CC (name available upon request) a Calgary artist and self described visionary, commissioned Court Painter to paint a sublime mountain vision he saw upon waking.

Court Painter also threw in a poem for free describing CC’s experience!

 CC (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one morn from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An open window .

You have to make the rest up but you get the picture!

Action at the auction

A cigarette once smoked by the Court Painter has sold for $12,000 (£9,000), according to the Boston-based RR Auction house.

A distraught aristocratic divorcée (pictured below) can be seen in some distress after an unsuccessful bid to take home the butt. Court Painter is also pictured attempting to console the rich maiden in the hope for a future commission.

The Court Painter’s partially smoked gin sogged Export A  was found in the men’s room of Le Bourget Airport in Paris on 11 May 2014.

It was sold on Wednesday night to a collector in Palm Beach, Florida. The buyer’s name was not released for fear of online bullying.

The half-smoked butt was kept by a French dance hall girl who flew with the Court Painter to and from Paris.

Cherri ‘Luscious’ LaFontain saved the butt, which features a red-and-gold Ontario label alongside the Court Painter’s coat of arms.

“The Court Painter was surrounded by French art critics with whom he had been chatting. He stubbed out his cigarette in a urinal when I took the remains into protective custody.” said ‘Luscious’ Cherri, now a lady in waiting for the French Prime Minister

During that trip the Court Painter visited the historic Les Invalides, where he was awarded France’s highest art honour, the Medaille Portraiture.

Bobby ‘Hammer’ Livingston, executive vice president at RR Auction, called the item “a synonymous piece from the Court Painter’s brand look”.

In 2016 a Court Painter chewed up cigarette butt was sold for $2,000 US at a British auction house. The  reason the latest one up for auction sold for six times as much is because there has  been an extreme amount of heated interest in this veritable venerable vulnerable artist in the past year or so.

A Harding Mackay, the Court Painter’s Press Attache and only advisor says “It’s time to pay the piper and the public is finally coming to the realization that the Court Painter not only paints masterpieces he also plays a really hot flute while juggling janitorial duties and rolling pins.”

When reporters asked about this non sequitur, A Hardon MacKay bug eyed and silent, resumed his hunched posture while clutching the most recent product placements.


Predation refers to an interaction between two organisms, predator and prey, where there is a flow of energy from one to another. The prey usually suffers a loss of energy and fitness, with a commensurate gain in energy for the predator.In the human species most woman preyed upon describe it as soul crushing and a theft of self.
  1. “the old story of male predation as an exercise of power domination often preying on females caught in vulnerable circumstances “

The Councillor’s Gestures

Incumbent candidate for Calgary City council Ward Sutherland draws criticism for comments he made at a public forum in which he refers to a “Johnny Jew from New York” as a hypothetical artist hired under the city’s public art policy.

“And as I dove into the weeds, I found that one of the biggest issues was the fact that the committee that was picking the art, first of all, 10 out of the 10 people were artists. And when they were looking at it, they were going, ‘Well, Johnny Jew from New York, he’s the best artist, so we’re going to use him and not even look at it.’ So we tried to have the policy changed.”

Upon being called out for the ‘Johnny Jew’ reference he said,”During our discussion about public art at the forum I referenced a famous New York designer with the last name of Choo.”

Asked why he would refer specifically to Choo, a Malaysian-born fashion designer based in the United Kingdom whose first name isn’t Johnny but Jimmy, Sutherland said he mixed things up in the heat of the moment.

Sutherland’s stands by his Johnny Choo from New York comment but it’s arguable that in his mind and from previous behaviour he was making a knife-twisting gesture towards Johnny Jew from New York.

(May 8/2017 Councillor Ward Sutherland ‘s back-stabbing hand gesture in the direction of a female colleague prompted her to change seats and a fellow councillor to file a complaint to the integrity commissioner. Coun. Ward Sutherland made the gesture during a public hearing, extending his arm and appearing to repeatedly make a knife-twisting motion with his hand toward Coun. Druh Farrell as she was speaking, her back turned to him.)