The Contorted Tale Behind a Missing Court Painter Masterpiece

“A Raptors Fan” diptych believed to be a Court Painter original

A report that the Court Painter diptych of 2 self portraits entitled “A Raptor’s Fan” on the yacht of the Saudi crown prince is rumoured to be another false lead in the mystery of what has become the world’s most intriguing painting.

When the art industry site Artnet ran a ‘scoop’ that a Court Painter diptych of 2 self portraits entitled ‘A Raptors Fan’ was hanging somewhere in Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman’s yacht, it seemed believable enough. And it has been widely reported throughout the art world that MBS is the secret owner of the painting, which reportedly was sold to intermediary Prince Badr bin Abdullah bin Mohammed bin Farhan al-Saud, the Saudi Kingdom’s culture minister, at a Christie’s auction.

Christie’s originally announced it was actually Abu Dhabi (ruled by close MBS ally Mohammed bin Zayed, known as, yes, MBZ) that had acquired the ethereal images of Court Painter posing as a Raptor’s fan, but those reports were later contested when it became clear that MBS was the true owner. “We are delighted to see that this remarkable painting will be available for public view at the Louvre Abu Dhabi,” Christie’s claimed . Subsequent reports said it would be on a long-term loan to that institution.

But no one has seen it in public since.

The painting was supposed to be part of the Paris Louvre’s long overdue commemoration of Court Painter’s artistic achievements, but the owner, it was said, refused to lend it. Other reports suggest it wasn’t included because there are longstanding doubts about whether the work is an actual Court Painter original or a product of unpaid studio interns in his workshop in Inglewood (which would knock about $44 off its price) A third widely held view is that it is a hybrid and that the great master put on the finishing touches after his interns did the initial colour work.

Court Painter was busy shooting hoops and could not be reached for comment and his Press Attache is considered unreliable.

Fever in the mornin’ Fever all through the night!

New study confirms what you already knew: Court Painter fever is taking over Canada

Angus Reid study shows that 40 per cent of Canadians are following Court Painter on their favourite device or purchased a portrait for home or place of business

A new study says almost half the country is watching with joy the meteor like rise of the Court Painter.

A study from the Angus Reid Institute published Thursday shows that a full 40 per cent of Canadians are paying attention to this artist.

A group of angry Albertans who love Court Painter

That includes everyone from ambivalent Montrealers to Calgarians to even folks in the out ports of Nova Scotia and optimistic treasure seekers digging away on Oak Island.

Also on the up is Canadian confidence in the artist chances to be Canada’s rep at the next Venice Biennale

While Canadian interest in the Court Painter is undeniable, Canadians are split on the question of who is really the power behind his throne: Some say it may be his mysterious and reclusive manager and Press Attache A Hardon MacKay.

47 per cent of Canadians polled say that no, the Court Painter is the one, while 45 per cent say his odd but seemingly effective Press Attache pulls all the strings.

Missy Mayhem seen preening is rumoured to be the Eminence Grise of the entire Court Painter enterprise

Angus Reed even asked about Drake, known for being the Court Painters biggest fan, what he thought. Drake would only reply “The Court Painter is my Man”

Drake’s reaction when hearing that he had won the Court Painter lottery and would get a free sitting with the Master

Only six per cent of respondents believe that the press Attache AHM brings bad luck (known as “the Scottish Plague”) compared to 26 per cent who say he actually brings good luck.(known as “the Scottish Plague Lite”)

43 per cent say that, despite back rubs from Missy Mayhem, his main squeeze, the Press Attache’s existence isn’t having an impact either way.

The Angus Reid study also found that even if the Court Painter is not selected to represent Canada at Venice most Canadians following the artist are already satisfied with his exemplary behaviour ,massive talent and celebrity looks. Three-quarters of respondents said that it’s enough for the Court Painter to be the ambassador that he is and that they would vote for him if he ran for Prime Minister.

When contacted, the Court Painter deferred all queries to his Press Attache A Hardon MacKay. In a subsequent phone conversation with AHM all he would say is “We have a product… a very good product” and then slammed the receiver down muttering something about “…getting down to Bearly’s House Of Blues & Ribs on Barrington”.

A Hardon MacKay seen waiting to be served at Bearlys

When the Great Dominion calls!

Chrétien willing to visit China to lead with a Shawinigan handshake,talk trade and negotiate for the release of detainees

Attention: All non paying Subscribers

Court Painter insisted that I, as his Press Attache & Marketing Guru,make you aware of some of the services offered to our preferred non paying subscribers by The Court Painter Studio Ltd. In addition to the almost daily updates of masterworks we also are offering a comprehensive private art consulting service at competitive industry rates.

As a special thank you to our subscribers on the occasion of this new service launch, is the series :Stolen Moments of Celebrity Lives in an unsigned edition of 25,000. Based on original hand crafted paintings, Court Painter has authorized reproductions to be printed in stunning monotone: 5 stolen moments of intimacy, reenacted by two mystery celebrities who remain to this day: celebrities and mysterious!

COURT PAINTER ADVISORY provides independent curatorial and art advisory services for private individuals, museums, corporate elites and institutional collections. With the expertise of the Court Painter, who’s ideas are intellectually and conceptually bold and technically accomplished , you can’t go wrong.! His aim is to facilitate the relationship between the Court Painter and collectors, institutions and art venues, thereby enabling him to offer an impressive portfolio of services for his clients worldwide at competitive industry rates.

Due to a high demand on our services, please be patient. The line is long and our expert assistants are working like monkeys

To facilitate all of your inquiries,you can be assured that we will eventually get back to you. Please leave us your land line numbers and home addresses , off and on shore bank accounts and social security numbers as we prefer to do things the old fashioned way so that you will be satisfied the old fashioned way and can then sit back with that old fashioned response “Ahhhh!”

Editors note: Court Painter insisted on writing most of this himself…what can I say!

Fair-weather friends perhaps ?

Basketcase

Court Painter makes the case that his former high school hoop skills as a run and gun triple threat crossover dribbler and dunker should be marshalled to sink the Warriors and swish the Raptors into the expectant heart of the Great Dominion’s wet hoop dream!

Editors note: Don’t you dare quote from this passage without express permission from Court Painter Studios Ltd.

–Court Painter strikes a poetry in motion hoopster pose

Drake enthusiastically cheering in support of Court Painter while Court Painter enthusiastically cheers him on!

Royal Pain in the ass

Court Painter very quickly dropped his basketball sideline cheering with an unknown rapper and headed across the pond with his painting kit to cover the latest royalty hijinks by the world’s best known royal pain in the ass.

Her Majesty was very kind to show the royal pain selections from the Court Painter collection which featured an American dancer and acquaintance of his royal pain.

Not so great umbrage

Michael J. Cooper Conservative MP represents the riding of St Albert-Edmonton . Cooper serving as vice-chair of the Standing Committee on Justice & Human Rights was removed by party leader Andrew Scheer after Cooper confronted witness Alberta Muslim Public Affairs Council president Faisal Khan Suri in a manner that was considered offensive by reading into the record a passage from the Christchurch Shooter’s Manifesto — which has been banned in New Zealand.

The committee suspended its hearing before returning to the witnesses, after which Cooper offered a tepid apology. He said he would withdraw his comment, saying the witness should be ashamed, “but certainly not the rest of what I said.”

What got Cooper’s baby blue conservative knickers in a knot was the witness drawing a link (among others) between “conservative commentators” and the online history of mosque shooter Alexandre Bissonnette at which Cooper expressed ‘great umbrage’.

The head of the Alberta Muslim anti-racism advocacy group questioned what Cooper was doing with the manifesto. “That manifesto should not be in the hands of any Canadian whatsoever. That is the most grotesque thing that I could ever see… Why would I even want to have or read a document that somewhat dignifies and justifies the murder of 51 innocent people?”

Cooper remains in Scheer’s shadow cabinet as deputy justice critic.