Showered with Gifts

A pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses. A limited edition, painted leather ashtray. Beard trimming products, gold plated cigarette lighters,glittering jewelry, pointy toed shoes, luggage,complimentary drum rolls, painting smocks and tams, studio accessories.

Court Painter is regularly showered with lavish gifts from hip corporations and start up businesses , often as a matter of not so subtle bribery to bask in his celebrity and star power.

This growing trend among the bargain-priced offerings to Court Painter are gifts from private companies — clothing and accessories from Canadian designers hoping the celebrity portraitist will sport their wares in public.

Court Painter’s Press Attache A Hardon MacKay says all the gifts are on a gift registry that he personally has compiled in his spare time and is compliant with the Allowable Conflict of Interest studio guidelines pinned on the studio bulletin board over the hot plate next to the industrial sink .

But local artist celebrity and bitter competitor CC (name available upon request) says he believes these corporate gifts are “problematic.”

“I continue to support my studio practice the old fashioned way with a simple cup!”

“What’s concerning is fashion labels sending clothes to Court Painter, because he’s a media hog that is very much in the spotlight, very much in the world of Instagram and faxes and there would be a very real benefit for a company to have him sporting their clothing labels as gifts,” his voice breaking with each indignant word.

“The connection to the pecuniary interests of those companies is clear and direct.”

Court Painter scoffed at the inference and admitted he didn’t know what pecuniary meant……..”is it a gland ?” he chuckled in self amusement!

If Court Painter is photographed sporting their gear or lighting a cig with a gold plated lighter, the companies often use these images to promote their business brands.

For example, Court Painter’s most recent disclosure shows he was gifted some clothing  from the Vancouver-based company Old Coot Suits. In late August, a photo was posted to his Instagram account with him wearing a baggy seersucker suit made by Old Coots Suits.

The company later posted this photo to its business Facebook page for promotional purposes.

Numerous clothing designers and wine producers have offered gifts to Court Painter, and have later posted photos or references to the celebrity painter sporting their wares on their official websites and social media feeds. They are also apt to name-drop Court Painter when interviewed in magazine-style feature stories about their brands.

It’s a relatively new phenomenon for Canada’s fledgling art realm.

Even the complaining artist CC (name available upon request) received his own trove of gifts: painting supplies, free dry cleaning and even some personalized gifts such as Stompin’ Tom Connors paraphernalia from a local  music store during his short lived tenure as Calgary’s most popular art personality.

But the clothing and accessories from Canadian fashion designers being sent to Court Painter fall within a newer category, CC  argues, more in line with the kinds of gifts given to “real”celebrities and “authentic” art royalty.

“We are dealing with a new genre of promotional art flim flam which is very much focused on the artist as a celebrity, and nobody anywhere in the world personifies this more than Court Painter,” CC uttered ,pointing out the obvious while in the same breath denying envy.

“He’s a trailblazer in the sort of brand identification of celebrity portraitist. So a magazine featuring him on the cover would have huge financial benefits.”

For that reason, CC believes these kinds of gifts should be redirected to him.

Press Attache A Hardon MacKay who spoke to The Canadian Press on background said some sexy garments listed under Court Painter’s studio gift registry were borrowed or loaned or were later donated to charities, but this information is considered highly sensitive and could cause public panic if disclosed or even worse, besmirch Court Painter’s reputation.

Hey…here’s an idea!

How about giving new and improved cyber operations powers to allow Canada’s spy agency  CSIS to influence foreign elections, spread misinformation or block news online, remotely take down would-be whistleblowers’ files, and stockpile even more malware and hacking tools and gather large amounts of Canadian data while they’re at it!

Let’s call it Bill C-59

 

My… my…what a surprise!

 

Donald Trump doesn’t scare former prime minister Stephen Harper

And while the bombastic, protectionist American president might make him “uncomfortable,” it’s politicians like Bernie Sanders who Harper says truly alarm him.

“I look at Donald Trump,” he said. “Obviously, there’s things that I’m uncomfortable with but the Bernie Sanders of the world or the Jeremy Corbyns in Britain are the ones that really, really frighten me.”

So who is best-placed to address the concerns fuelling the populist spread?

In Harper’s view, conservatives, both in Canada and abroad.

“I think conservatives are better placed to adapt because I think the fundamentals of what we stand for — the necessity of having a market economy, making that serve, you know, greater public interest, and also our belief in traditional institutions like faith, family, the nation state, nationalism,” he said.

Daring Tourism Move

So, Halifax’s famous town clock is punching out for a few months while renovation crews transform the Citadel Hill landmark into a pagoda like architectural statement.(see Court Painter’s recent painting)

After & Before

The original historic clock tower is tiered like a cake. A rectangular slab at the base supports three octagonal levels decorated with detailed trim and Greek columns, topped with a copper dome. The architectural details are beautiful and distinct, but not always practical.
Thus after a  Google search of attractive architectural styles the pagoda beat out Big Ben.
 Court Painter’s Heroic Poster celebrating the clocktower’s new look

Inside the clock tower, which is usually closed to the public, the need for retail souvenir space became clear and  local tradespeople will be hired to produce saleable miniature cannons that will have the sound wallop of the present noon time cannon blast off Citadel Hill. Editors note: Because negotiations with Disney for the licensing is still in its infancy,no concept illustrations are available.

Court Painter Self Portrait with clocktower

The unidentified spokesperson went on to say,”Because it’s a very iconic building in Halifax, there’s a lot of interest in its transformation and why it’s so important for us to improve the esthetics of it to attract the US tourists who would love to buy a miniature cannon to add to their gun collection.

Court Painter & unidentified local singer in Halifax studio

Self Destructs

Court Painter artwork self-destructs after selling for $17 CDN

Artist’s canvas suddenly passed through shredder installed in frame

Court Painter’s artwork “Doug Freeing A Balloon”

Art prankster Court Painter has struck again.

A work by the less than elusive street smart artist self-destructed in front of startled flea market auction -goers on Friday, moments after being sold for $17 CDN

The spray-painted canvas Doug Freeing A  Balloon was sold at a flea market auction in Inglewood, fetching more than three times its pre-sale estimate of $5 and equalling a record price for the artist.

Then, as the artist shrieked on cue, it ran through a shredder embedded in the frame, emerging from the bottom in strips.

Court Painter in act of shredding

A post on Court Painter’s studio bulletin board showed the moment — and the shocked reaction of those few at the auction paying any attention — with the words “Going, going, gone…”

“It appears we just got Court Painter-ed,” said A Hardon MacKay Press Attache and Head of Publicity Stunts for Court Painter.

Photo  of boisterous ballo0n and hot air enthusiasts at auction

AHM said he was “in discussion about next steps” with the buyers, well known hobbyists and connoisseurs and Calgary’s only power couple of note. (names available upon request)

“We have not experienced this situation in the past where a painting we bought for $17 CDN. spontaneously shredded, upon achieving a record for the artist,” CC & DC said in sing songey unison. “We are busily figuring out what this means in a resale context.”

Court Painter, who is always disclosing his full identity by button holing people with his wild imaginings and tattered reproductions, began his career spray-painting bucking broncos on the sides of vans for the Calgary Stampede crowd and remains one of the world’s least-known artists.

He has a penchant for elaborate failed pranks to numerous to mention.

The recent commission Doug Freeing A  Balloon, depicts the Ontario Premier reaching up, freeing a round dark balloon containing the text of his favourite subject : Carbon Tax . When asked why a balloon, Doug replied that in discussion with Court Painter (who is a self described master of artistic symbolism), CP explained that he saw me as a metaphor about to hatch and visioned me as a populist freedom fighter captured on canvas, freeing a Carbon Tax ballon filled with hot air sourced from the depth of my lungs expended profusely without guard rails , filling the trial balloons of populist governance and stuff like that ! I was thrilled with the painting but am confused with the shredding….However I can really see doing that to my anti taxer and fellow populist freedom fighter Jason Kenney….he gets mad when you prank him…anyway as I always said to my bro Rob, Art is in the wallet of the beholder!

Editors note: Doug’s statement was edited for clarity ,brevity , flow, comprehension and word count.

Sovereignty Returns to Great Dominion

Arguably scrapping part of NAFTA’s Ch. 11 is Canada’s biggest win with USMCA

Welcome removal of a section of  Chapter 11, Section B., or the Investors-State Dispute Settlement (ISDS) mechanism.

In terms of Canadian sovereignty, Gus Van Harten, a professor at Osgoode Law School and an expert in dispute settlement commented:

“In terms of Canada as a whole and our sovereignty, it’s just transformational. It was the No. 1 obstacle to actually calling ourselves an independent country in our entire legal framework, ever since we repatriated the Constitution. It’s as simple as that.”

Recent Commissions

Cash strapped Court Painter , in a burst of mercenary zeal for American dollars,whipped out a rash of new commissions.

He revealed these volcanos of creativity often occur only after beers and a blackout!